shy in the brain [j. m. lee]

Moving!

2010-12-18T17:52:00.002-06:00

I am officially moving my blog to:

http://www.joeyverse.com

See you there!

J

10 Poor Reasons to do NaNoWriMo

2010-11-03T21:31:00.015-05:00

It's that time! My yearly aversion to all online communities where I might see running wordcount updates every 29 minutes. Yes, that's right, it's National Novel Writing Month. You can try going to the website but it's likely it will run slow, since hundreds of writers are taking up bandwidth updating their word-count-o-meter instead of actually writing.

Okay, okay. Cynicism aside. People have asked me why I don't like NaNoWriMo. I like to write. I should love NaNoWriMo. Right? Write? Wrong!

Actually, in theory, I don't really mind the idea. I think it's a fine idea. The part that irks me is the reason that so many people do NaNo. So, since no one really cares what I think anyway, I'm going to write with reckless abandon about...

10 Very Poor Reasons to do NaNoWriMo

First, I'll go over the ones that are posted right on the NaNoWriMo FAQ.

Reasons 1-4: To actively participate in one of our era's most enchanting art forms! To write without having to obsess over quality. To be able to make obscure references to passages from our novels at parties. To be able to mock real novelists who dawdle on and on, taking far longer than 30 days to produce their work.

Okay. I think these are all really poor reasons. But I'll respond one at a time.

1. Since when is NaNo one of "our era's" most enchanting anythings? Art forms? I'll let the art historians take this one. But I'm pretty sure not even Yoko Ono has been called enchanting.

2. No one ever said that any writer must obsess over quality. If you obsess over quality, first, at least you are interested in quality. Second, if obsessing is really interfering with your work regime, then maybe you should consider the possibility that something else needs attention. Obsessing over quality is, actually, in a lot of ways, the reason that novels that sell actually sell. Because the author is obsessed. I'm sorry. This reason just gets me, right in the solar plexus. It's basically suggesting you write 50,000 words of crap.

3. Really? Because I can't stand that person at parties.

4. I get it, these are all jokes. Ha ha ha! It's like a self-mockery. Obviously real authors take longer than 30 days to write novels. Because only brilliant masterminds like Stephenie Meyer can write books in less than 30 days (see? humor? I can do it too. Actually, Twilight took three months. Irony?).

But if the only reasons why NaNo's own official website can come up with are jokes making fun of itself, then... really, what is the point? To waste two hours a day writing 1666 words so that you can make fun of yourself? Then why do people take it so seriously?

Because people do have serious reasons for doing NaNo. It's true. And I can get behind some of them. Some people spend the summer planning and writing shorts and getting geared up for the big event in November. Some people, I don't know, hate going outside in November, because it's nasty and cold outside. Some people just like to say NANOWRIMO. This underhanded comment makes it seem like people who do NaNoWriMo have no aspiration to be "real novelists." What a load of bull. Anyone who has the interest in committing enough time to attempt 50,000 words wants to be a "real novelist" and saying that NaNo is some sort of weird mockery of "real novelists" is just a gross self-defeating "We don't really think we're writing novels here, really, stop criticizing us, we know you can't write a good novel in a month... but secretly we would like to be real novelists please be gentle."

So. That's my main contempt: With the NaNo thingy itself. The tradition and presentation. If you're going to be NaNoWriMo, be bold! Be specific! Say what you mean!

But instead, people come up with various other reasons to explain to me why they're really doing NaNo. Instead of saying what they really mean, like "I want to be a real writer and this is good practice and incentive" or "I want to get through my first 50,000 words to feel accomplished and build confidence," they say things like the following:

Poor Reason 5: Writing with other people makes me feel more motivated.

Okay. I get that. But you don't need to sign up with NaNo to take part in a forum of writers. The internet is FULL of people who are writing, every month of the year. You can find them everywhere. You don't have to wait until November. Just type "writing forum" or something similar into the Google and it will scour the internets for you. You'll like it.

Poor Reason 6: I've always wanted to write a novel, so I thought this was a good chance.

Props to you for wanting to write a novel. If everyone wanted to write a novel, we would never run out of great reads. However, if every novelist only needed a good chance to write their novel, a lot more people would have done it. You do not need to be given a chance to write a novel. That's right. Despite what you may think, you are actually capable of writing a novel at any time you so choose. You do not need it to be a specific month, you do not need an official event in which you sign up, and you do not need someone's permission. If you want to write a novel, why wait until November? Sit down and start NOW! (well, or whenever you want)

This applies to a lot of things, but I think people find it especially applies to writing, or making time for artistic, cathartic, expressive "hobbies." It's hard to make time in your life when you have school or a job or kids or all of the above. But really, it's not like the NaNo people call your boss and your kids and your teachers and tell them to leave you alone during November so you can write -- YOU make the decision. And the decision is yours to make at any time. Not just November.

Poor Reason 7: If I can write 50,000 words, I will have written a novel.

I guess there's no need to go into detail, but statistically, the average novel ranges from 75,000 words to 120,000 words. That means if you write 50,000 words... well, you do the math.

Poor Reason 7: If I can write 50,000 words, I can finish my manuscript.

This may be true, depending on the person. Some people can plow through 50,000 words and then plow through the next 50,000 words and then edit and work on it and go from there. But think of this as a marathon. Do you jump into a marathon without training? A lot of people jump into NaNo without training, and they end up exhausted at the end of 30,000 words, with barely enough stamina to get through the remaining 20,000... and you still have to finish the book. And that's only your rough draft. I still feel like I bashed my head on a brick wall after writing 10,000 words in a sitting, and I've been binge-writing for years.

Poor Reason 8: If I can write 50,000 words, I can do anything.

Then I would like a unicorn, please.

The truth is, to someone who doesn't write a lot, 50,000 words seems like a lot of words. It's a lot longer than a term paper, anyway, and it's about something that you like. But a novel isn't just words. Novels aren't about filling pages and pages with words that have no meaning. Novels take at least some planning, some foresight, and so much editing. Self editing. Reader editing. Editor editing. Editing. 50,000 words, after editing, may end up only 20,000 words. It may end up only 200 words.

It is a lot of words, but it isn't even half of the process.

Why am I making such a focus on the novel, and not the words? What did you say, it's not about writing a novel, or being a "real novelist" or... what? It's called National NOVEL WRITING Month, not National WRITE A LOT OF WORDS Month, although the latter is way more accurate. I thought of some other alternate names:

National Write 50,000 Words Month
National Freak Out About Word Count Month
National Excuse to Tweet About My Plot Month
National Adjunct to No Shave November: Instead of Shaving, Let's Write Lots and Lots of Words But Pretend We're Not Serious About It

Obviously, the most grief I'll give NaNo is the obsession with wordcount. It's not the size that matters! Right in the website's statement, it basically says that it's not about quality, it's about quantity. Who in their right mind would enjoy reading a book that's 800 pages of crap?

Yes, you have to get it out. A wise man once said, it takes a million bad words to get to the good stuff. Just like it takes a lot of really wimpy pushups to get sweet guns. It's about exercise. And if NaNo is your exercise, then I just warn you that if you only do NaNo during November, it will take you 20 years to get your million bad words out. So start counting.

And finally, Poor Reason 10, the Poorest of Them All: If I don't do NaNo, I will never write a book.

Don't say this. Ever. If it takes an internet event once a year for you to get the courage and energy to write a book, then you're not ready yet. If you have to wait until November so you can compete with other people to write, you're going to be more focused on the event and less focused on the topic and the goal. Stop tweeting your wordcounts. Stop running the word count period. It's not about words, it's not about the month, it's not about other people - it's about your novel.

So write it already, dammit.

P.S. I am already aware of this article and this response to it. And I disagree with them both. So there, nanny nanny boo boo.

P.P.S. About Yoko Ono being enchanting: I stand corrected. So it's Yoko Ono and NaNoWriMo. Funny, that's the title for my latest album.

Mikkeil Deed

2010-09-24T00:15:00.001-05:00

Reprising old art... Good times. Maybe I will scrounge up the old version from what, almost 10 years ago... Ha! That would involve plugging in a hard drive and connecting it via USB cable! Unlikely story that is!

Tools Every Designer Should Know About, Episode 2

2010-09-22T15:30:00.004-05:00

What: Greenshot
For: Web designers, coders, tech support folks, people with computer inept parents
Where: http://getgreenshot.org/

This one I love for those sort of in-the-middle-of-a-project, need-an-answer-quickly and OMG TECH SUPPORT moments. It's a medium-weight screenshot taking program that sits politely in your taskbar. When you press printscreen (or click on the icon, if you still want your printscreen button) it transforms your cursor into a screen-wide selector tool. After making your selection, you can choose to copy the selection to your clipboard, print it, or open it in an equally straightforward miniature editing software:

(screenshot taken with... you guessed it... Greenshot!)

Super nice when I need to quickly send a client a look at what I'm working on over AIM, or show my mom how to work her email. It is free and open-source.

Enjoy!

Tools Every Designer Should Know About, Episode 1

2010-09-15T20:48:00.007-05:00

What: Firebug plugin for Firefox
By: Mozilla
For: Web designers, coders
Where: http://getfirebug.com/

Well, okay, this mostly applies to web designers. But read on!

Not only is this little sucker just about the handiest browser plugin after, I dunno, Adblock, it's actually really smart. Install it as a quickie plugin and you're ready to rock. Activate it and you can meander through the code of the page you're looking at, tapping through HTML, CSS and layout levels like magic.

Firebug lives in the bottom left corner of your Firefox browser. You turn it on by clicking and it opens a fairly well organized and designed window showing different levels of code and design.

This is great for when you're tweaking someone else's code, because you never know where they've put their style sheets, what they've named their DIVs, and whether or not they've done in-line styles (bad! bad!).

My favorite things it does:

- Lists all CSS scripts any given page is accessing, in order of dominance, crossing out any code which is overridden by a higher ranking code

- Has a layout tool which will highlight DIV areas when you click on their code, showing you exactly where each area of DIV exists

- Has a cute firefly icon

...Aaand that concludes this brief first episode of Tools Every Designer Should Know About.

Blog status update

2010-09-05T00:37:00.005-05:00

Just an update to say that I'll be moving all my Joeyverse (that is, my novel-and-project-related stuff, including Joeyverse community goodies like contests, giveaways, and the all new forum) over to:

http://www.joeyverse.com

...and this blog will be revived this fall as the companion blog to VioletIris Productions, focusing on what I do as a freelancer: blogging about meta-fiction, meta-cinema, illustration and graphic design.

Also, now that I am hosting with Dreamhost (which I like very much so far) I may be moving this blog over to the main VioletIris site full-time, since I am pretty handy with WordPress now and I'm considering a complete revamp into a dynamic sort of site which may also handle client logins for project management, review and (yay) payment. We will see how things go.

So that is the news! Keep it real.

Blog pause

2010-07-29T21:58:00.008-05:00

This blog is pretty much obviously on hiatus. Job title change and promotion, lots of Derelict Heaven promoting to do, summer is here, mentoring, teaching workshops, etc. More content soon. Promise.

Until then, have a sexy Julian sketch ---->

I am still lively on Twitter and Facebook. I can do micro-blogging. Any energy that involves complete sentences and/or more than 140 characters, however, I want to put towards editing.

In the meantime, when I come back to write, what would you like to see? More on illustration? Graphic design? Writing? Movies? Books? Eh? Wanna read my 50 page INCEPTION review?

Derelict Heaven: Illust: JUSTIN MAVERICK

2010-07-10T22:47:00.005-05:00

I took the time this weekend to work on some illustration for myself for a change! Behold, Justin Cygnus Maverick, Captain of the Righteous Jones, main character of my novel, Derelict Heaven, lover of words, and possessor of the world's most powerful black majik spell.

And no, it's not the Dragon Slave.

Memory Shack

2010-06-14T19:48:00.005-05:00

My short story, MEMORY SHACK, has been published by Paper Darts Literary Magazine.

Read it here.

More later! Now, dinner.

Illustration process

2010-05-14T15:42:00.006-05:00

I liked looking at these as a young'n, and I feel like posting to my blog. So here's the evolution of my most recent illustration commission!

Step 1: Rough sketch for client review.

I use mechanical pencil and recycled sketch paper, and a big eraser.

Step 3: Revised rough sketch after client input

Step 3: Clean lines with basic background coloring for visualization.

For lines I use a .01 micron black pen on top of the pencils, then fade the sketches when necessary with a gum eraser. Finally, I scan it in and adjust the levels to bring out the ink lines. The coloring here was done with a basic airbrush and was later scrapped when I actually started coloring.

Step 4: Character colors for client review

Colors done in Corel Painter IX using custom brushes.

(Steps 5-8 ????)

Finally, profit!

Finished product coloring done in Painter, background done in Photoshop CS3 using some custom brushes, screens, filters and textures. And lens flare. Can't forget the lens flare.

Tips for Doing It Yourself: Text Design

2010-05-03T17:38:00.031-05:00

Hi!

As you may have noticed, I'm trying to blog more. It's part of my regime for "do it yourself" publicity. So I'm going to do a "do it yourself" post.¹ /preamble

Not everyone wants to spend $100, or even $1000 dollars, on a logo for their web site, band, car, company, you name it. After all, a lot of basic "logo" design is pretty much, as my girlfriend put it, "your name in a font."

Still, even for some people, the art of making a basic logo or banner graphic for their blog proves difficult. This is due to the fact that, as we use about 15% (or is it 11%?) of our brain, most of us use only about 10% of Photoshop. Or less, if you're not a Photoshop nerd. This could also be due to the fact that you don't spend hours and hours of your time staring at graphics for web sites. This could also be due to the fact that you are a snake and lack arms, color vision, and a registered copy of Creative Suite 3.

Well, that's OK, Mr/s. Snake, because I have Tips & Tricks for you!²

Disclaimer: Why are you doing this? Isn't this part of your job? Only my part-time job, good sir. Plus, people are going to make their own logos and things whether or not they're aware that I could do such a thing for them for almost free. I am doing this because it pains me to see very simple steps skipped, transforming what could be a great DIY graphic design job into a sad and kind of amateur-looking DIY graphic design job. After all, if all you really need/want is just your name in a font, you might as well make it the best your name in a font it could be!

Step 1. Pick a font.

I'm not going to tell you what font to pick, because I imagine you already have one picked out. And picking out a font takes a while. So forget that. Here are the two most important things you MUST know before choosing a font. Raise your hand (or tail, snake) and swear:

1. If I use a font I will check if I need to buy a license for it before using it as my commercial logo
2. I will never use Comic Sans. For anything. Ever.

Swear.

Swear, dammit.

Step 2. Pick a color.

Again, I'm not here to teach you about color theory (but you can try out this online color wheel which will pretty much do it for you). Here are the down and dirty basics:

If in doubt, go black and white. Seriously. There is nothing wrong with classic black and white. If you're unsure, but still feeling a little daring, try grey and one color. And if that's too much, go back to black and white.

If you pick a color, don't change it. Your "color" is as important to your logo/banner/whatever as the font you pick and what it says and what you put it on. I recently visited The Swivet, read a guest blog, and left without even realizing it was the Swivet until I went back to the Swivet particularly for something Swivetty. Why? Because sometime between the last time I looked and today, the blog has gone from red, burnt orange and grey to white, grey, and neon aqua. For those of you with your color wheels out, yes, those are opposite colors. What if I were illiterate and couldn't read? I wouldn't know it was the same site. I would also probably not be pretending to read a literary agent's blog.

[Note: Also, when trying to find a screenshot of the old blog colors, I found the old-old blog. Which apparently used the blue umbrella picture thing. So now it turns out I was twice fooled!]

Qwest did this to me recently, too. I think the idea is they're trying to look more green, in the most literal way possible:

No, I won't believe the benefits -- who are you, weird green snake logo company?

Anyway, not to be critical, but there is risk when you change colors. Especially ones people are used to seeing.

Step 3: Use Anti-Aliasing

Anti-aliasing is essentially Pantene Pro-V for your text (and other things). You know those commercials with the animation of the conditioner smoothing out your hair follicles? Anti-aliasing is like that for your letters (except it actually works). Seeing is believing:

(first is not antialiased; second is. Image from Wikipedia commons)

Here's how to anti-alias your text in Photoshop:

NOTE: You should NOT use anti-aliasing when designing for print on fabric. The anti-aliasing "border" will interfere with the crispness of the screen printer. Instead, design at a very very high resolution with no anti-aliasing, then let the printer take care of the rest.

Step 4: Save that Sucker! ...Properly, sucker!

I have seen many-a-logo go astray at the very last seconds. You have a good font, you have it in neon pink, it's not Comic Sans, it's anti-aliased, everything is beautiful... But it still looks all grainy and crap! Why??

Because you have JPEG artifacts. This is caused by the compression when you saved. See, back in the day when JPEGs were invented, we had our computers plugged into our phone lines and "dialed up" to get onto the interweb. To save space, images were condensed into mushy packages. But, now that internet is breathable, we can pop a 2MB graphic up on a website and no complaints (not that saving your normal-sized JPEG will be 2MB. But. If it were.).

So, when saving your JPEG (and I do recommend JPEG), make sure your compression settings are set to 9 or 10:

Mine's a 12.

And you will get a nice result!

(Also worth noting: Facebook and Blogspot both resize/recompress images on upload. Photobucket and Flickr, or your own web server, are more reliable to maintain integrity/make your images nice.)

That's about it.

There. Information. Education. Stimulation. And the end of this post. Good luck!

^{1. I also like to write about how I'm writing about what I'm doing. Like right now, and up there. That's the meta-part. Also, this is the footnote part.

2. This does not validate your pirated copy of CS3, however.}

3 Types of JMLEE illust backgrounds

2010-05-01T21:48:00.009-05:00

Time to learn!

I've had some questions about the two types of backgrounds I do. This post is here to debunk all myths. The three types are called, abstractly, the "abstract," "simple" and "detailed" backgrounds. Really, what this comes down to is:

If I have to draw the background (with pencil, digital pen, etc), it's a "detailed" background
If I can do it all with simple shapes (i.e. in Photoshop with a normal mouse), it's a "simple" background
If there are no shapes at all, just a gradient color and maybe a texture, it's an "abstract" background.

So, here are some live, recent examples of the various types! Note that the "simple" and "abstract" backgrounds generally have a more cell-shading style done; this fits in better with the type of background. The "detailed" backgrounds are generally more incorporated into the image, what with the linework interacting with the character and all.

ABSTRACT BACKGROUND
Gradient, texture, text

SIMPLE BACKGROUND
Gradients, photoshop shapes (beam of light, sword), text
[+ drawn silhouette @ additional charge]

DETAILED BACKGROUND
Full background (table, junk on table, shelf, stereo, etc) +
photoshop shapes (window) + gradient + texture(s) +
border by struckdumb graphics

There you have it! Vague mysteries more or less clarified! Or, at least, confused beyond all reason. Have a good evening, children of the internet.

AD10 & How to Commission an Illustrator at a Convention

2010-04-26T16:43:00.008-05:00

Anime Detour 2010 is over now and I'm pretty happy with the turnout! I gave away 99 bookmarks (Dragon was the unhappy remainder) and over sweet characters buttons. So, if you see someone sporting them, or perhaps saving their spot in a good book, point at them with at least one finger and say "AVAST!" Or, if you are more keen on confusing people, you can try "What ARRRRR ya doin'?!" I also still have some buttons left over, so they may become Twitter/Facebook giveaway prizes.

Also, special thanks to the Harajuku District (link?) for featuring my artwork in their room party as well as posting subtle but positively placed Derelict Heaven wanted posters throughout the hotel. I will be collecting any convention photos that have such wanted posters in the background, so if you have any good ones, please link 'em here or email 'em to me!

This was my first convention attending as an artist in ye olde artiste's alley. A goodly time was enjoyed, near and far. I come to you now saying thank you to everyone who commissioned me, and if you want to post a link where you may or may not have posted your commission, here is a great place to do it. Right at the bottom there, where it says "comment!" Because I didn't have a copier, I wasn't able to make any copies and I like to show off.

I also have to say that for the most part, the people who commissioned me this weekend were all remarkably well prepared and I don't believe I had a terribly difficult time with anything, nor any dissatisfied customers. There were a couple, however, that left me a little wanting for information, so now I will also extend the following friendly tips for those of you who are considering commissioning an artist at a convention in the local or distal future!

5 Tips for Commissioning at a Con

1. Have references on hand. This was invaluable. And by that I mean completely worth it. Not everyone knows in advance if they want to commission someone, but if you decide you do, it's always a REAL help for the artist if you have references. Even if you don't have any art you drew yourself (or art someone else drew), you can even bring references of characters who have similar clothes, hairstyle, etc.

2. Try to describe your character in three words. Angsty, sad, pensive. Happy, cheerful, adamant. You know, like that. This is super helpful in getting the character to look right. Too much information gets confusing, but I'd say three really good words is just right.

3. Give details that will affect the image. If your character has a bionic arm, and that's really important, say so. Please don't, however, tell me about their siblings or love interest if they aren't going to be in the picture and if the backstory doesn't affect how the image is going to turn out. I got a LOT of commissions this weekend and keeping all the info straight can get really difficult, especially when I'm scrambling to take notes for later references. If the color blue is really important theme, say so. If the color blue is your character's favorite color, but they are wearing a black and white tuxedo, it is a little extraneous.

4. Make references to other shows that I can relate to. It's super helpful if you can tell me about similar things that I know about, so I can draw from the same inspiration.

5. Speak clearly, write legibly, and don't forget to leave your contact information. Really. V. important.

That's it! Quite simple, really! It's a splendid time guaranteed for all, and it comes highly recommended by both artist and commissioners. As things went over so well, I fully plan to attend next year, with probably more prints and definitely a computer so I can work digitally as well. Again, thanks to everyone who showed up, took free stuff, and of course, hired me to draw some crazy lines on paper.

Also, for anyone who stumbles over here from the internets, yes, I take commissions year-round, not just at conventions. If you just didn't get enough over the weekend, hit me up on email and let's chat :)

(For more information on my thoughts about commissioning, check out my previous blog posts How to Write an Amazing Commission Request and the slightly more jaded 5 Ways to Keep Your Illustrator from Hating You.)

Giveaway winner + Happy 10+ Years, Blu & Vail!

2010-04-18T18:40:00.006-05:00

First, congrats to Rez for winning the 7 Deadly Sins print! Should ship on Monday, and I really like sending my artwork overseas. It makes me feel prestigious and worldly.

Second, I'm congratulating Blu & Vail for being their bad-assey selves for over 10 years. Their story never gets old to me. Blu was my first character ever back in 6th grade. Since then she has evolved into the brash, off-at-the-mouth, talking-to-herself lady she is today. She met Vail in the late 90's on the ARPG and they have been trying to kill each other ever since. Their story has been re-told several times and is finally chronicled in a YA action-adventure called Skeptics + Innocents, which is sitting in my computer waiting for editing attention.

For their anniversary, I sent them to the beach. Vail plans to kick ass at volleyball, and Blu is going to get drunk on bloody marys.

As you can see, Blu and Vail want you to spend as much time outside as possible. While you're still alive.

7 DEADLY SINS print giveaway

2010-04-11T12:40:00.013-05:00

Time for another giveaway of free stuff, as promised!

This time it's one signed 11x17" print of my 7 DEADLY SINS poster!

RULES: Follow me on Twitter (@brainshy), then use the hashtag #JMLEE7DS (or simply RT the Twitter announcement) by 5PM CST Sunday, April 18. I'll search by hashtag and pick one lucky winner at random.

Print is just under 11x17" (I don't have a full bleed printer) and will be shipped directly to you in a stiff-like-the-dead envelope via UPS. This is an international deal; you can enter and win from anywhere in the world.

Obviously the print will not have a giant watermark on it.

Yes, you can de-follow me after the contest is over if you really feel compelled. But why would you want to do that? ;)

Go go go!

J

Story Structure Architect, Victoria Lynn Schmidt

2010-03-27T09:16:00.006-05:00

Time for a mini book feature, and this one isn't fiction. I'm here to prop Story Structure Architect: A Writer's Guide to Building Dramatic Situations and Compelling Characters by Dr. Victoria Lynn Schmidt, Ph.D. (blog), which I picked up while perusing the writing section of my local B&N. Amidst all the books instructing people "how to write" was this one, which I was drawn to not only because the cover felt nice, but also because it has a subtitle longer than its actual title (and we know how much I like that.)

The book categorizes the basic steps to take while drafting your story, short but insightful summaries of 11 Master Structures (e.g. The Melodrama, The Roller Coaster Ride, [Metafiction...]), and a breakdown of 55 Dramatic Situations (Supplication & Benefaction, Abduction & Reunion, Madness & Genius). The book is well-written for both seasoned story architects as well as anyone who is just getting into writing or film/literary analysis.

Schmidt makes plenty of references to other works -- including popular movies -- to build and show her point, making the book a successful piece of architecture in itself. Her analyses and comparisons are insightful yet understandable, salient and, most importantly, visible and tangible when one turns from theory to practice.

I highly recommend the book to anyone who wants a lightweight but rich reference to archetype, trope and tradition within the storytelling frame.

Victoria Lynn Schmidt has authored other books on writing, such as Book in a Month and 45 Master Characters: Mythic Models for Creating Original Characters, as well as fiction of her own. Schmidt is an author and instructor with a background and interest in psychology, spirituality and holistic creativity. Visit her website for more details.

2010: So far, not so good for movies.

2010-03-16T20:59:00.012-05:00

Movies I've seen (for the first time) in 2010 so far: 4

1. Alice in Wonderland (Tim Burton, 2010)
Probable meta-plot: Imagination in cinema is realized through extensive graphic effects.

"Just remember, this movie isn't about you."

2. Shutter Island (Martin Scorsese, 2010)
Probable meta-plot: Perception of perspective directly affects the response of the viewer

"So y'see, the premise of the movie is that we're detectives."

3. Iron Man (Jon Favreau, 2008)
Probable meta-plot: The creator of technological effects/advancements has great power... and great responsibility. Against terrorists.

You are healed!

4. The Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus (Terry Gilliam, 2009)
Probable meta-plot: You see what you are only when you see yourself on the screen.

We promise the metallic paint was non-toxic this time.

Movies interesting enough that I want to write about them: 1 (guess which)

Conclusion: Must see more interesting movies in 2010.

Any suggestions?¹

1. All 2010 Oscar winners are already on the list.

Derelict Heaven: The Web Site

2010-03-14T13:33:00.006-05:00

I'm pleased to announce the grand revealing of the Derelict Heaven website! There is information about the novel, information about myself, and I'll be loading the swag page with lots of goodies. I also recommend you check out the Make Your Own Coat of Arms page, where you can create your own coat of arms or pirate flag (the final image is conveniently the exact size for your Facebook profile picture).

Enjoy, let me know of any typos or broken links, or of course if you have any additional FAQ questions you think might be good in addition.

BriTANick + meta + cinema = My favorite sketch ever

2010-03-05T20:10:00.001-06:00

I don't do this often, but this is my favorite comedy duo, meta, and cinema, all in one thing. So there.

A Trailer for Every Academy Award Winning Movie Ever -- powered by Cracked.com

Inglourious Basterds: The Fear & Conquest of Modern Cinema

2010-02-11T14:47:00.020-06:00

Quentin Tarantino. Violence. Same sentence, usually. Some people aren't even sure what a Quentin Tarantino is, but they usually know what it entails. Really, Tarantino (director of cult classics such as Pulp Fiction, True Romance, and Kill Bill, for those not in the know) has become so consistent with the violence within his films that he's carved a nice, bloody niche for himself -- and in his most recent film, Inglourious Basterds, he doesn't disappoint.

Inglourious Basterds is a Tarantino remake of the original film Quel maledetto treno blindato (Enzo G. Castellari). It is set in Nazi-occupied France, centering on three sets of characters, as all WW2 movies inevitably do: The oppressed, and the oppressors, and the Americans. Brad Pitt takes center stage as Lieutenant Aldo Raine, leading a team of Nazi-killing soldiers. They're up against Nazi Colonel Hans Landa (Christoph Waltz) and equilibrium is brought by Shoshanna Dreyfus (Mélanie Laurent), a Jewish girl who has been in hiding as a theatre mistress since the mass murder of her family by Col. Landa. The plot begins in separate places and, as they are like to, eventually spirals together to climax within Shoshanna's theatre.

The opening scene takes place in a country home, where Landa is interrogating Perrier LaPedite, a farmer who is hiding Jews. The silence and the "Don't move or talk or make noise" was eerily like the breath-holding silence in a proper theatre, so at this point the audience has been put in the shoes of the fugitives. This trend of audience-in-hiding is generally the tradition with any genre of "scary" films, generating the response that cinema-watching is a masochistic practice. However, as Basterds progresses, the audience is (arguably) slipped easily into the mindset of the sadistic, violence-loving Jewish soldiers.

In fact, I would go so far as to say that Basterds begins to put us past the American sadism and begins to drop us into the boots of the Nazis. Landa, as "evil" as he is, has a certain charisma which is characteristic of Tarantino villains. This "classy" interpretation of Nazi-ism has been criticized by many who feel that the film touted itself as sympathetic to the Jews when, in actuality, it was not sympathetic to anyone. The amount of controversy that has been roiled up from the film's purported perspective has become political in some forums, but I feel the upset is missing the mark: Tarantino wasn't and never will write a film to sympathize with any specific class of people; he writes films about one thing and one thing only: Violence.

What exactly is a film about violence about, then? Well, we could look at a large lot of movies, but let's stick with Tarantino for the time. I'll return to my earlier comment: Tarantino and violence are practically tautological when it comes to cinema keywords, and if Tarantino is aware of anything, it's this. Violence is a powerful player in the cinematic arena, keying in almost every genre of film analysis, particularly in the Freudian and psycho-analytical classes. Violence is Tarantino's topic of choice -- it is his style and his passion, and he knows the reputation it comes with. I'm sure he is aware that people refuse to watch his movies on the basis that he directed them; I'm sure he's proud of it, particularly after Basterds. The glamorizing of violence is the Tarantino Way -- a way that has been frowned upon and criticized by movie-watchers of all breeds as hollow and outrageous.

The metacinematic Inglourious Basterds is his answer to this. Despite the negative stigma his films have garnered from many casual and critical movie watchers, Basterds grossed $38kk and was #1 in the box office its opening week. It has also been nominated for 8 Oscars, including Best Picture, Best Director, and Best Original Screenplay. But why? Why indeed would over 3300 theaters worldwide make bank on a film that is simply about violence? The question has been one of the core queries about cinema for the history of cinematic review. Tarantino has taken the time to answer all these interview questions in the form of this film.

I'll begin by bringing up the physical appearance of Hans Landa coupled with the fact that this is one of the only films where Tarantino has no cameo. See below:

Tarantino (left) wishes he looked this good (right). Maybe it's just the nose.

Am I saying what you think I'm saying? Yes. Christoph Waltz is actually playing the role of Quentin Tarantino in this film (and yes, for those of you thinking ahead, Diane Kruger is playing Uma Thurman. Ha ha ha, just kidding. She's playing Nicole Kidman.). So, put on your metaphor cap and let's embark on a metaphor journey: The opening scene of Basterds is Quentin Tarantino interrogating the timid and casual citizen about what he has hiding in the closet. Will the hider protect the hidden guilt and thus sacrifice his own safety and shame, or will he betray them to save himself?

Tarantino plainly shows us what he thinks is the answer. The farmer gives it up, the violence and danger are displaced, the farmer's family spared, and we suddenly have our premise: People would rather see others under fire than take the violence upon themselves. Thus is born a story about the threesome marriage of cinema, violence, and voyeurism.

After all, what else were all those people doing in a movie about WW2 while we're in the middle of the middle east? Watching movies has always been an escape, most relevantly for this essay during the Great Depression and during and after the war. There is a poignant loss of self in any cinematic vacation, which I've always thought to be more voyeuristic than vicarious. What happens on the screen is distant, a pastoral fantasy, and an escape.

Basterds moves on to introduce us to Brad Pitt, a hard-headed, stubborn, violent, unstoppable American who is sticking around Europe for one reason, and one reason only: To make a killing. Get it? Brad Pitt is playing himself. His role is to get people in the theater and keep them there; that's his business. He can get away with almost anything; though he's technically a mercenary under hire, he's clearly running the show -- he's the simultaneously lovable and detestable public face of modern cinema. And here he is, the Brad Pitt, ready for business... And let me tell you, business is a-booming.

While Brad Pitt's role is standing in for the active, perceived personification of the modern actor, the converse, reflective notion of the actor's role in cinematic politics is literalized in the character of Private Frederick Zoller (Daniel Brühl). Zoller is a Nazi soldier whose feats in snipery have been so phenomenal that it has been made into a movie to boost Nazi morale. Unlike Brad Pitt('s character), Zoller is a gear in the machine. He uses his pseudo-fame to try to pick up chicks, but his ultimate feelings about the situation are shown as he is viewing himself murdering hundreds of enemy soldiers, even if they are only actors. His intense, troubled reaction to seeing himself on the screen indicates Tarantino's cinematic displacement theme again -- Zoller can handle his feelings about his own deeds until they are on the big screen, where suddenly what should be a fantasy experience becomes all too real.

The displacement of reality is a cornerstone of cinematic voyeurism. In some cases, the audience is asked to displace their troubles of the "real world" into the dangers, thrills and other emotions of the silver screen. However, the act of "watching" and thus surrendering your own sense of reality to a projected fantasy can often lead to an unreal sense of reality. A classic example of this comes from Alfred Hitchcock's metacinematic Rear Window (1954), wherein Jeffries (James Stewart), the main character, is confined to his apartment due to an injury. His would-be love interest Lisa (Grace Kelly) is uninteresting to him for the most part of the movie, failing miserably in her attempts to woo him out of his snooping voyeurism as he spies on his neighbors with his telescope. The emotional attachment turns, however, as soon as Lisa leaves his apartment and becomes part of Jeffries' distal, metaphorical stage. The projection of his voyeuristic interest -- motivated by a lack of interest in his "real" reality -- is displaced onto Lisa once she enters this stage and at this point the romantic tension begins.

In the case of Inglourious Basterds, this projection of real investment is expected of the audience. Tarantino's expectation that the viewer is prepared to take on a sadistic role is mirrored in Zoller's anticipation of the screening of his film. In fact, that's the entire point he's making, that people go to emotionally ravaging, viscerally gory films and thereby displace themselves from their own emotionally troubling realities. The turn, however, is how disturbed Zoller is by his own film -- and this single reaction is the crux of the meaning Tarantino is attempting to convey.

Zoller's sudden, unnoticed nausea at his film foreshadows the massive scene that follows. The theatre in which his film is being shown falls under attack by both the American soldiers and the Jewish theatre mistress. The soldiers have explosives and guns, but Shoshanna takes one step further: She screens her final message to the men she is about to kill. The immense projection that overtakes her otherwise discreet, quietly wrathful character during the broadcast is vital in interpreting the film -- in what other arena can one single, unknown, otherwise harmless person exercise so much power over so many people in so little time? Were she standing on the stage giving her message, she would have had little effect -- yet the audience is so transfixed by the screen that they are utterly bound by her spell. This is the power of the cinema.

Shoshanna's final broadcast throws the entire theatre into terror and chaos. The audience has been entranced by the screen and now it is time for the cinematic coup de grace, the climax we have all been waiting for. Off-set, Brad Pitt and Quentin Tarantino strike a deal -- and back in the theatre, history is changed as Adolf Hitler is brutally assassinated in an extended, bloody, gruesome shot.

This shot is the most important in the film. While most shots of this type last only long enough to drive the message home that so-and-so has been shot and killed, the history-changing Hitler murder shot lasts well over twice as long as it probably would under any other director. The shot is so gruesome and extended that it feels like it will never end. It is the culmination of the entire film, where an entire world of watchers who, in some way or another, want to see such a terrible, sadistic thing happen to one of the most infamous people in world history, suddenly get what they want: A target for the displacement of their various hatred, anger, fear and wrath -- a target who, due to his historical reputation, can be accepted as a deserving villain almost universally. In simpler terms, there is no reason that anyone should feel "bad" for wanting to take out all of their vengeance on Hitler, and here, Tarantino gives the people what they want.

And he gives it to them longer than they want. The shot drags on. Unexpectedly you feel, as Zoller did, a sudden nausea. A sudden self-repulsion.

It passes. Brad Pitt and Quentin Tarantino exchange some funny lines, solidify their deal, and the audience is awash with cool, green relief as the scene changes away from the blazing theatre drenched in red. The audience is allowed to forget the fleeting instance of self-doubt, beckoned to continue on in the cinematic fantasy. Instead of taking responsibility for sadistic pleasure in witnessing the death of Hitler, the audience is invited to convert this uncomfortable feeling into hatred for Hans, easily channeled through the anti-heroic Lt. Raine.

Thus, Tarantino offers himself up as the self-aware martyr-director. So far as he's concerned, call him a sadist, call him a director of unnecessarily gory films -- hell, call him the villain of film. He doesn't care. No one can get rid of him because he -- er, Hans -- is too damn smart. In the crowning scene, Brad Pitt leans over and peers into the camera-eye and, with a perfect American drawl, says, "I'm gonna give you a little something you can't take off."

Tarantino does seem to feel that he bears a mark on his brow, or at least one that could be likened to Hermann Hesse's alternative Caine story in Demian -- that the mark was not the sign of evil, but rather an interpretation by those who are afraid of someone who is stronger than they are. Tarantino's self-righteous, smug finish in Basterds reeks of "I told you so" -- he's well aware of the movies he makes, the violence he glorifies, the stigma he will receive for it... and that, most importantly, it was what people wanted. Inglourious Basterds is a revenge film, but it is not the revenge film of a movie unto other movies, of a subclass unto a superclass, or a historically impressive era unto another: Inglourious Basterds is about the revenge of one man unto his nervous, defiant audience -- the revenge of Quentin Tarantino unto every Perrier LaPedite -- unto every would-be fearless man who dreams of altruism and the integrity of the movie viewer's soul.

5 Random Metafiction Novels

2010-02-05T15:17:00.008-06:00

Title says it all. Let's do this!

1. The Princess Bride, William Goldman

I don't really feel like I have to do much with this one. We've all seen the movie (right?), which is meta all over its face, and the book is, too. Nothing like books making fun of their own genre... After all, when you're writing fantasy, you can't really avoid the fact that you're doing it, and the only way to keep yourself from being in denial of it is to embrace it. Or make fun of it.

2. The Feast of Love, Charles Baxter

Also made into a movie, but less meta. To me, the author speaking with his characters and being a part of the novel he's writing never gets old. Heartaching and careful, with immense respect for the characters that build the story he's writing, Baxter puts us in the thick of a novel that makes itself -- and makes itself so real that it's almost painful.

3. Intrusions, Ursula Hegi

Another one with a writer writing about the writing process, including a glimpse into what it's like to have characters who know what they want, whether it follows the plot the author has in mind or not. It's a quick, casual read with a sort of nonchalant tone, as if the production of the work was motivated by the novel's own desire to get written, and the author only finished to satisfy it.

4. Fight Club, Chuck Palahniuk

Anyone who's ever read a Palahniuk book knows there's an element of meta in everything he writes, but Fight Club has a special place in my heart. Maybe it's the haiku. Anyway, if you want a rougher look at meta, here's a good book that takes a look at perspective, identity, and the self-awareness of imaginary people and the people they imagine and are imagined by. A definite must-read for anyone who hasn't read it yet.

5. Catcher in the Rye, J. D. Salinger

I'll end here on a bit of a sentimental note for those of us observing the passing of J. D. Salinger...

If I were to nominate a single literary character who had the most to say about what it's like to be a character, I could only nominate Holden Caulfield. In under 75k words, an entire person is born, his entire being lived until finally his presence forever dies; anticlimactically, as in real life, passing into the dark. His struggle with his confused, troubled, anxious, well-meaning but restricted life -- his only identity -- reflects to me the anxiety inevitably felt by anyone who was created for a book, as a character, never to pass on into the "real" world. So much could be said for a character, or the book itself -- surfacing as that parting anxiety when a cover is closed, whether you just finished reading or writing.

Magic vs. Science: Metacinema/fiction in Sherlock Holmes

2010-02-02T12:09:00.010-06:00

I was in the midst of re-reading all the stories when the 2009 movie came out, and now that I've seen it twice, here I am with a story about meta, and magic, and science, and performance, and detail, and technology... and Sherlock Holmes.

I'll leave the debate about how good/bad/faithful the movie was to the critics and the devoted fans; I'm a casual Holmesian, so I won't go there. This blog is about books, and cinema, and meta, and I'm going to tie all three together and then go back to watching the shiba-inu puppycam.

Also, fair game: Spoilers below.

Well enough! Sherlock Holmes the books (Sir Arthur Conan Doyle) and Sherlock Holmes the movie (Guy Ritchie, 2009) have a great deal to say about metafiction and cinema. The most obvious and blatant observation would be the analysis of the "show" vs. "reality" duality, which is usually my focus in meta (as in my blog entry about Christopher Nolan's The Prestige). It's a Holmesian trope, which was extrapolated and centered on in the recent remake film in the form of the antics of the antagonist Lord Blackwood (Mark Strong), who uses science to paint a portrait of himself as an all-powerful lord of black magic. Similarly, in the classic Hound of the Baskervilles, Holmes reveals that a monster previously thought to be a demon hound is actually a ravenous "normal" dog that has been chemically treated to look possessed.

The movie, as the stories do, follows Holmes (Robert Downey, Jr.) as he follows the trail of the case using practical logic, common sense, and a keen eye for detail. As the stories unravel, more and more the viewer/reader finds that, although initially presented as straight-up supernatural powers, magic, ghost stories, and wizardry, most of the mysteries are debunked by Holmes and Watson as the results of meticulously clever tricks and illusions created by predictable machinery, chemistry, and science.

The same could be said of the books themselves, in a meta-fiction way: The way the stories are told, from the varying degrees of 1st person narrative of Watson, gives the illusion of fiction, and fantasy, and the supernatural. We see what Watson does, and he himself is a storyteller (as Doyle is), leading the reader to make certain assumptions and thus be led through a fantasy mystery until finally allowing us to "see" the truth. Holmes himself warns Watson not to be enticed by coming to an early conclusion and thus seeing all evidence as supporting this theory, yet Doyle allows the reader to do so in order to create something entertaining, rather than predictable. The "magic" of the mystery story is in the telling method, essentially the tricks of literary convention -- methods to make the reader believe what has not actually been asserted as fact through expression of mood, description, and most importantly, Watson's subjective recount of the case as if it were happening in real time.

The perspective of the Holmes novels changes fluidly. Though usually a 1st person narrative acting as a 3rd person biographer, Watson often removes his own "insignificant personality" in order to enhance the intrigue by "objectively" narrating background information (Valley of Fear), a rather elementary idea.¹ Sometimes, Doyle lets Watson tells us his own feelings -- but only when they support the mood or enigma that he wants us to be feeling vicariously. Other times, Doyle lets Watson know nothing, leaving the facts only to Holmes (though technically, as the stories are often told in retrospect, Watson turns out to be a rather skilled storyteller as well). And finally, some of Watson's "scribbles" are letters he wrote to Holmes (or others), giving us a "real-time" interpretation of the events. All of these classic methods ("sciences" of writing, if you will) are perfectly used to make the reader believe what Doyle wants them to believe at the time they believe it.

Similarly, the film takes this to the screen arena: Guy Ritchie pulls some old movie tricks out of the bag, including lighting, sound and stage effects. I'm taking things like the ship/rig chase scene with the French giant out of the equation; I'm talking about the scene near the beginning where Holmes is brought to speak with Blackwood. As Holmes turns his back on Blackwood's cell, Blackwood suddenly and creepily appears from the shadows, as if conjuring himself or teleporting. It's a lighting trick, and they've been doing it for years. It brings to mind a version of Hamlet I saw on stage, where the audience is first blinded by a flash of bright lights while a deceased Banquo is catapulted through a trap door in the dining table. When the audience has blinked away the floaters, there he is in all his ghosty glory.

Ritchie used sound effects to establish Blackwood's alleged sorcery: The meat-packing scene is the first scene where full bass surround-sound is used prominently during the film. Blackwood's voice booms from behind, to the right, and to the left of the audience, making you acutely aware for the first time of the surround-sound technology -- or, if you're in the proper mind-set (watching a movie, as it were), you're just acutely aware of Lord Blackwood's supreme creepiness.

And isn't that the job of the auteur? It's all ~~industrial light and magic~~ smoke and mirrors (or prose and trope), but in the end, you believe it. You'll ignore (unless you are a CG nerd) the special effects and prefer to be in space, or ignore the carefully crafted mystery even though you know you're being led along by the master. And it's cool, because that's what it's about -- you believe. When that's the case, all the success to the maker -- he's done his job. The only person who will detect any presence of convention or science only does so because he, like Detective Holmes, "was looking for it."

1. Ha, I said "elementary" in a post about Sherlock Holmes.

Derelict Heaven: Mrell, Noct, Amart, Billy

2010-01-23T10:57:00.003-06:00

Ugh. I have been bad. Here is some art.

Amart & Mrell

Billy the Runner and some gypsy guy

Enjoy! They're borderless, so you can enjoy them indefinitely as desktop wallpapers. I may make prints later on. For sale, at Anime Detour 2010, along with a lot of other junk. Accept? Y/N

Leave AVATAR alone!

2010-01-12T20:45:00.006-06:00

Okay. I've kept my mouth shut for, what, three weeks now. And, for the record, that's a very long time for me to keep my mouth shut about a movie. As week four comes along, though, I'm boiling over. I'm gonna... I'm gonna... I'm gonna say something!

Leave Avatar alone!

Yeah, so the plot is not original. Neither is the plot to Dances With Wolves, Shrek, or Romeo & Juliet. Or Pyramus and Thisby, for that matter. Cameron has already done the Avatar story, but last time it was a historical romance aboard the Titanic. Yes, perhaps Cameron is too young in his career to be attempting a magnum opus -- perhaps he's not quite auteur stuff yet. Yes, the dialogue is so-so and the foreshadowing is a bit slap-in-the-face. But really, what film these days isn't? The last film that had any surprise value to me was... Man, I think it was Memento back in 2000. And we all still knew something was coming. But let's compare apples to apples and leave Christopher Nolan out of this.

Still, what I'm getting at... what was it again? Oh right, leave Avatar alone. What the hell is so bad about it, anyway? Let's itemize, I guess.

Predictability. I'm reading all up and down Facebook about how predictable it was. When has predictable ever stopped you from going to a movie? Sure as hell didn't stop me from going to Sherlock Holmes. Twice. And I can tell you as a fact, I knew everything that was coming the second time. Predictable didn't stop anyone from sitting all the way through all three of the Pirates of the Carribbean movies, Harry Potter, or Star Trek. Was it that you thought it wasn't going to be predictable? Or have you never seen a James Cameron movie before? I'd spoil the ending of Alien 3 for you, but you could probably guess it.

Script & Acting. Really? You think the script and/or delivery of the script was any worse than any other action film that's come out in the last year? If this film is competing with the big sci-fi blockbusters of the last couple years, it's up against stuff like War of the Worlds, Transformers (which was a franchise), Star Trek (franchise), and... Star Wars (which, by the time it was the 00's, was a franchise). Were any of these impressive in the script department? And that's excusing that the Star Wars franchise set the precedent for fantasy-type scripts in a sci-fi type film (not to mention orchestral score for a major motion picture, and not to mention ANY of the fantasy/sci-fi genre blending we see every day in film...).

In fact, who's been impressed with any non-drama script in the last three years at all? (Twilight fans, I'm doing you a favor by not mentioning Twilight) Maybe it's just me and maybe I'm just jaded. Maybe it's just some sort of sign that Avatar's script is SO bad that everyone thinks it's bad. But this is supposedly an opinion post, and my opinion is that Avatar had about as much to say as everything else in its genre, and for the bad press it's getting about the script, I didn't think it was that awful. It obviously wasn't about the script, anyway.

Well, if it wasn't about the plot or the script, what was it about? I guess I think that's obvious, but I'm not in agreement with the internetworking masses... To me it's rather clear that Avatar isn't about telling a new story, but telling a story in a new way. And that way is bright, fresh, ass-spanking CG in mother-loving 3D. Yes, the story is rather generic (read: GENRE), but the spin is what it looks like. Nowhere else (except X-Men) will you see blue cat-people riding dragons (except the dragon part. Nightcrawler didn't need a dragon.). Or 3D subtitles. Or... well, I already mentioned giant blue cat-people riding dragons. Who look like Sigourney Weaver. The cat-people. Not the dragons.

Right. My point. I'm going to make one.

Avatar's plot was run of the mill Romeo & Juliet, boy meets girl, problems of the ecological/ethical nature (get it? nature?), and also some spiritual undertones. Of course it's predictable. It was predictable in the 1600's. Everything we watch is predictable. The thing that makes movies interesting is how it's done differently. And I guess, for me, the oldie-time story that was being told in Avatar was different because it had blue cat-people in 3D, and Michelle Rodriguez. And it was fun to look at. And what's so effing wrong about that? Leave it alone, people. Just because it's making more money than you doesn't mean you need to pick on it.

OK. Rant completed. I'm gonna go watch SNL now.

Art post: More DH wallpapers

2010-01-07T17:23:00.004-06:00

Here they are, in case you didn't see Olivia, Dragon, Avery and Lizzy on dA or Facebook:

Thus finishes the main-main characters. Our favorite cheetah and organic-produce-loving gypsy are up next.

And I promise, I would like to actually write about something. I have a couple topics in mind, actually. But at the moment, they're incomplete. And secrets. And works in progress. I try not to show anything that's not finished, like incomplete sentences that don't

Inspirational locations...

2009-12-27T21:17:00.010-06:00

I'm inspired by most things, but there are a few specific places that, if money were no object, I would travel to on a regular basis in order to do my best writing, my best sketching, and my best meditating. Here is a list of the top five most inspiring places I have ever been.

5. The Minnesota State Fair.

I'm not inspired by the State Fair in a really big way, but I do go every year to (among other things, like stuff my face full of Pronto Pups and mini donuts) to gather very specific tactile, audio and olfactory data. Despite the footnote in Derelict Heaven, the fair is a good place to get good inspiration for those things... just not, you know, a war scene. There are all sorts of plants, animals, food and people. The bazaar is full of things to look at and touch. I go there every year to refresh my adjective and verb supply, because there are so many things and so many new ways to explain them. I recommend the fair, 100%.

4. The Ocean.

There is nothing (besides outer space) that makes me feel smaller than the ocean. If you can't guess why the ocean is inspiring, I won't try to explain it. I had a friend once say he didn't need to see the ocean because he had seen Lake Superior. You can't explain the ocean to people who say that. But once you see it, and stand in it, and spend a day watching it, then it begins to make sense. Everything does, I mean.

3. The Mall of America.

I'm not exactly a mall rat, but if I ever don't have something to do on a weekday night, I will always opt to go to the mall. And, living where I do, I have the luxury of the gigantor Mall of America in my backyard. There's something about the amount of people, graphic design, advertising, and consumer/capitalism at this mall that always has something to say to me. I love people watching (good old fashioned inspiration) and the MoA always delivers weird, weird, weird people to watch. There's always events, and bookstores, and fashion, so I can see what's going on outside of my bubble. You know, like what's cool. Love the mall. Love it.

2. The subway. Any subway.

Really. It doesn't matter whether it's the Yamanote through Shibuya at 2pm or the underground Minneapolis-St. Paul Light Rail station in the airport at 2am -- I can't get enough of subway trains. I could ride 'em all day. All night. I have, in fact (cheapest way to entertain Joey, ever). There's something about the automated machinery and automated people doing their daily, mechanical things, pretending they're not sharing close company with people right next to them. Every time I get off a train I have to go home and write something down. There is never an end to the inspiration I get on the train.

1. Tsuribasho-so Onsen Ryokan and the mountains of the Izu Peninsula in Shizuoka, Japan.

I really can't say more for this place. The location itself was so surreal and quiet, but the Ryokan (traditional Japanese style inn) in particular was amazing. They have one green tea hot spring and there are tea plants covering the mountains, so when we went in July of 2007, the entire region smelled of cool, sweet green tea. The sky is bigger there, the trees are greener, and the place makes you feel like you're just another leaf on the wind. It was absolutely amazing. I have been to a lot of mountains, but there is surely something very special about the fantastic mountains of Japan. There is a deep peace and quiet there, and if I could claim one spot as my recurring gettaway, this would, without a doubt, be it.

So there you are, five favorite inspirational locations. What are yours?

Snow.

2009-12-26T09:08:00.003-06:00

How to Write an Amazing Commission Request

2009-12-20T22:41:00.006-06:00

So, last time, I was marginally negative about the don'ts of illustration commissioning, so this time I'm going to be positive and reward good behavior and perfect commission request procedure. The following is a set of emails as well as the back and forth proofs I sent for a recent commission. Even if it's not globally enlightening, at the least maybe you will be able to get a picture (ha, get it?) of what I appreciate when handling commissions.

As a bit of relevant background: Alyssia, my client, is one of my regulars. I've been doing illustration commissions for her for years now. This is great for both of us, namely because a) she knows what I do and what to expect (including how sometimes I will be a month late) and b) I know she knows what I do and what to expect.

So, without further ado.

How to Write an Amazing Commission Request

1. Query the illustrator. This is not as scary as sending in a cover letter to a prospective employer or emailing a query letter to a prospective literary agent. This is more about making sure the illustrator is available and willing to do your project. Here's what Alyssia wrote:

I'm e-mailing you to ask about a commissioned full color piece that I'd like you to do.

Great. I know what's going on. I like knowing what's going on.

2. Give me a timeline. Alyssia writes:

It would be awesome if I could have this in my hands by the night of the 28th (or the wee hours of the morning on the 29th). This is for my D&D group and our next session starts at noon on the 29th. I'll understand if a week and a half just isn't enough - I'm only letting you know what my ideal time frame is, not trying to make any demands or anything.

Perfect. I know when she wants it by, and even a timeframe. Even though I wasn't able to make this deadline (stupid Real Adult Job!), I had an idea of the urgency. She also didn't give me a completely unreasonable request -- say, asking for a full color commission within two days. She also let me know just how strict the deadline was -- to the point that I could ask whether or not she wanted to proceed with it in the case I couldn't make it. She also sort of let me know what the commission was for -- a D&D group. I like knowing that stuff because it lets me know what genre of commission I'm dealing with (in the case of D&D, usually epic fantasy stuff) and also that there will be more than one person looking at the image. Although this didn't happen with this commission, I've had previous commissions for D&D or other RPG/LARP groups where the commission had to get every single player's stamp of approval (and tweaks!). So anyway, it was nice to have a heads up.

3. Bring up money. I like it when people bring up money in their query. It completely eliminates the "Do they know how much I cost?" question, which can lead to all sorts of awkwardness later. Let's not pretend that I do (all) my work for free. If you can, be informed about your illustrator's prices. If you have no idea, ask! Don't start a commission project until you have at least a ball park idea of how much your illustrator charges. Do not assume they are cheap. Alyssia writes:

The last posting for prices say that this should by $XX. If that's not the case let me know - also let me know if you're just plain not accepting commissions right now.

To be honest, I already knew Alyssia was aware of my pricing, but it was nice that she put out the price that she was willing to work with just so I didn't have to worry about negotiating or breaking her heart when I revealed my rate. I also really appreciated the "let me know if you're not taking commissions" bit because sometimes, I'm not! All in all, a solid, informative query outlining the most important information: Type of commission, description, time frame, and proposed rate.

Speaking of description, let's move on to that!

4. Start with the basics. Let's see what Alyssia wrote:

I'd like it to be two characters, full color and full background.

Again, good. Talk to me like I have no idea what you want, because I probably don't. Let me know the scope of what you're looking for! I generally do three levels of commissions: Line-art portraits, colored portraits, and full-out background illustrated things. Here, Alyssia tells me what level of image she wants.

5. Describe, describe, describe -- but be appropriate.

This is the most important part, really; if I don't have this, obviously I can't really do anything. I have gotten the most bizarre descriptions, if one could call them that. When I used to do a lot of pin-up illustration and I would get emails that simply said "blond girl make sure she's cute." That does not give me a lot to go on -- it gives me three things: Girl, blond, cute. First of all, for pin-up art, cute is sort of implied. Second, girl and blond? There's a bit of a range there, right? So please:

The first character is an incubus, so he should have horns, wings peeking up from behind his shoulders, and hooves. He's got long reddish-brown hair that he keeps back in a braid and a somewhat Greek skin tone. I don't have a very specific idea of his clothes... he's a king, so anything regal would be good. He should be wearing mostly red and tan with green accents, and his crown should include fire opal as the main jewel. I don't much care if he's wearing a traditional on top of the head crown or an ornate circlet - whatever you're more comfortable drawing or think looks better. He should also have a couple of rings, one with a fire opal, one with a green pearl, and a signet ring. He's very strong and should have a broad, well-muscled build. His eyes are kind of an olive green.

This is almost a perfect description. The only thing that could get her in trouble is if I didn't know what an incubus was, but she even covered her bases there by letting me know she wanted horns, wings, and hooves. You shouldn't really assume I know what species/breed/etc your character is, but Alyssia also knows I'm pretty fantasy savvy, so it was a safe bet. Other than that, she gave me everything I really, absolutely need to know: Gender; hair color, style and length; clothing colors and whether he needs to be wearing something specific; accessories and items (important in a D&D illustration, I know!); build and physique; and finally, eye color. She didn't tell me what his name is, she didn't give me a 10-page summary of his origin story, and she didn't tell me any of his powers. Yes, I suppose powers are relevant sometimes for illustrations, but for this one, it isn't, and so I was glad I didn't see that. I'm not here to judge your characters and their abilities and marvel at how strong they are. I just want to draw them for you, so other people can do that.

Okay, character two:

The second character is a female. She's got hair that looks like an orange-yellow fire kept in a loose up-do and medium-toned skin more on the reddish side the olive side. Her eyes also resemble an orange and yellow flame. I also don't care too much about what she's wearing. It should be regal, but she should be able to dress herself and still move in her outfit unassisted. The dress should be primarily red and brown with gold accents. Same thing for her crown - whatever style you're most comfortable with and a fire opal as the main jewel. She should have a fire-opal choker, pair of earrings and a ring or two. If you leave her arms bare she should also have a couple of bangles. She's thin but she has a lot of well-defined muscle so be sure to show that if you leave her arms bare.

Great! I'm getting an image already. Alyssia used a lot of fire words so I'm thinking we're dealing with some sort of fire spirit or something, so I'm going to pay close attention to her hair and making it fiery, not just... blond, or red. I like the flexibility I'm being given with her clothing -- Alyssia is telling me what kind of outfit to put her in, but she's giving me options (read: ARTISTIC LICENSE). Too many details can get me really frustrated, especially if there are really complicated things like a coat of arms, elaborate gowns, or things that are very, very specific. I like that Alyssia is giving me the things that are important to her and letting me take care of the rest.

That just about does it for the physical descriptions, but then she throws this in:

All metals used for either character should be gold or bronze.

You know, this sentence seems like it's sort of insignificant, but it's actually one of the most important sentences in the entire description. Obviously, with fantasy-type illustrations, we're going to be dealing with belt buckles, jewelry, swords, weapons, and LOTS of things that have metal. Choosing between silvers and golds is something that is rather important that people don't always think about, so I was really grateful for this bit of direction. It saved one more round of Q&A.

6. Tell me about the scene. Again, I can't do much without this. But please remember, I am not reviewing your novel, I am not an editor, and I'm not an animator making you a television series. I don't need to know anything that is not relevant to the one, singular image I am illustrating for you. Let's see how Alyssia handled this:

For the scene - I'd like them to be on some kind of balcony on a high level of a castle. I think it would be cool if the shot could be slightly from the side so you can see the castle in one half of the background and an expansive medieval fantasy city on the other half. Any banners that might be on the exterior of the castle would be in red or green, but don't feel like you need to put one in.

Fab! She gave me an idea of what she's thinking (her "vision," if you will) without giving me a truckload of details that won't help me one way or another. She gave me things like: Balcony, castle, high-up, and medieval fantasy city. She also gave me some optional information, like banner colors, in the case that it came up (again, avoiding another round of Q&A).

They're husband and wife, so I'd like them to be close with one another but feel free to play with the pose. They're looking over their recently claimed land, and the king has just achieved one of his two life-time goals, so they should seem happy, content, maybe a little proud. They're very much in love with each other so they should be touching each other somehow.

Next she gives me an idea of how the characters should be interacting. This is so important. Are they lovers? Enemies? Siblings? How should I know? Well, she tells me: They're married and they're in love. She gives me a mood, too, IN ONE SENTENCE: They're looking over their recently claimed land, and the king has just achieved one of his two life-time goals, so they should seem happy, content, maybe a little proud. This is all I need to understand what's happening in the picture. I don't need to know what his other life-time goal is, I don't need to know if they have children, I don't need to know if his best friend sacrified his life to give them this happiness.

7. And wrap it up. Then she closed it up with "Thank you," which I always appreciate, and her name. Even though I know who she is. Please don't query me and don't tell me your name. I don't necessarily need to know the names of your characters, but I'd like to know who I'm talking to. Also, your initials go on your invoice. That's how I sort things. Even a screenname. Just be professional. You know.

Right, so there you have it. A probably overly-exhaustive rhetoric on what I considered a really great proposal. To be honest, the only thing it was lacking was maybe some links to reference images (if there were any), links to other images I've done, or other things in the referential vein of things. I like references. If you know of an anime character who has the same haircut as your character, by all means give me a URL. I know how to use the internet. Shoot.

(by the way, here's the finished image:)

Derelict Heaven: Brilliant & Aroshi

2009-12-13T22:07:00.003-06:00

And here are the next two: First mate Jamie Brilliant, swordsman/ale-hound extraordinaire, and the mysterious and clove-smoking Aroshi Yamabiko. He's an alien from Earth.

Derelict Heaven: Justin and Carmen

2009-12-12T18:22:00.003-06:00

Introducing Justin and Carmen into the new art style for Derelict Heaven. It's a little Disney, a little anime, a little Miyazaki, a little country, and a little rock n' roll. Enjoy.

Derelict Heaven: Unique Words

2009-12-12T00:09:00.002-06:00

I ran a word analysis on Derelict Heaven for no good reason today. Actually, the reason was because I was curious. That's not terrible of me, is it?

Anyway, for my entertainment (and possibly yours, too), here's a list of my favorite unique (occurred once) words from the novel. I wonder what the virgin reader might be able to tell from them...

Excuse the all caps. It's how they came out -- how they were born, you know.

AEROBIC, ALIENS, ALMANACS, AMERICA, ANARCHIST, ANGSTING, ANVILS, APOTHECARY, ASSHAT, ASSWIPE, ASUNDER, BABIES, BACON, BALLFUCK, BESMIRCHING, BOOZE, BOTANY, BRITAIN, BUDGET, CAMPANOPHILE, CANOE, CARTOGRAPHER, CEREBRAL, CHRIST, CLOWN, COMPUTERS, COPULATORY, CORUSCANT, CROTCHAL, CYBORG, DIAGRAMS, DICTIONARIES, DONUTS, ECOSYSTEM, EDITING, ELEPHANT, ELLIPSES, ETCETERA, EXPOSITIONAL, EXTEMPORARY, FBI, FEISTY, FICTION, FIGURINES, FLASHFORWARD, FUCKHEAD, GALACTIC, GEEZ, GOOEY, GOUTCAP, HEARTBURN, HODGEPODGE, HOITY, HOMICIDE, HOORAY, IFFY, INSOUCIENT, JUGGERNAUTS, KIOSKS, LAPDANCE, LEXICON, LINGUISTS, LITIGATION, MAIDENS, METAFICTION, MUSTACHE, MUTAGEN, NECROMANCY, OESTRUS, OHHHHHHHHH, OSTRICH, PARAGRAPH, PARALLELISM, PARAPHRASED, PARROT, PIXIES, POPCORN, POTTERY, PREGNANT, PRONOMINAL, PROPINQUITOUS, PROTAGONISTS, PURPORT, RAPSCALLION, REALISTICALLY, REDHEAD, REDHEADS, REPARTEE, RETROACTIVE, RHINO, SALIENT, SCALLIWAGS, SEGUE, SEQUIN, SHITTY, SKELETONS, SMITHEREENS, SQUID, SQUISHY, SYNCHRONICALLY, TACKINESS, THINGY, TOGA, TOOTHPICKS, TRANSPIRINGS, UNBEKNOWNST, UNMENTIONABLES, VACUOUS, VAMPIRES, VELUM, WAFFLES, WHALES, WHORE, WHUH, WIZARD, WUSSES, YAHTZEE

5 Ways to Keep Your Illustrator from Hating You

2009-11-29T11:43:00.011-06:00

So you just got some extra cash for your birthday and you've really really been looking forward to commissioning a professional illustration. It's time! But wait... I know, I know. You're not quite ready yet, because something has been weighing on your mind. Something very, very important:

"How do I keep my illustrator from hating me?"

How conscientious of you! What a great question. This is something you should be acutely aware of, as illustrators are poor, poor people and will often do things they hate so they can make money doing something they wished they loved. The best way to build a respectable and non-hateful relationship with your illustrator is to exercise common sense. I've broken down my Top 5 Illustration Peeves for your reference, and hopefully you can use this towards your next (joint) enterprise.

1. Pick an illustrator who does what you want. That is: If you want a Disney-style cartoon illustration, pick someone who has Disney-style work in their portfolio. If you want a funky abstract painting, pick an abstract painter. If you want something all Japanime with big googly eyes and enormous... tracts of land... pick someone who does that and have your proof of age ready. The thing that I hate almost the most is when I get a commission query from someone who wants me to draw something in a style that has nothing to do with what I draw. It would take anyone two seconds to page through my gallery to see I specialize in three things: Grunge/Victoriana/Steampunk, anime, and sexy girls. I don't do Nickelodeon, I don't do American cartoons, I don't do lifelike portraits, and I don't do goofy bucktoothed caricatures. Look through an illustrator's portfolio/gallery to make sure they do what you want before asking if they will do something else.

2. Respect your illustrator's pricing. Once you've picked an illustrator who kinda does what you want and has agreed to embark on this whole commissioning adventure, do not try to haggle pricing. If they charge hourly, that's what they're going to charge. If they charge a flat $300, that's what they charge. Don't tell the illustrator it's too expensive. You don't tell the waiter that your steak is too expensive (well, some people do -- and waiters hate those people!). You can tell them how much you're willing to spend, if you're afraid of hourly rates. But this does not guarantee they will go forward with the commission. I have heard time and time again that illustration rates are "way too high!" Well, illustrators don't just whip these things out of their asses. Yes, they do real work and spend real time on your illustration. I spend an average of 3-10 hours on every commission, and at some of the rates that have been proposed to me, it comes down to $5/hour. Yes really. Respect, people. Respect.

3. Be detailed. I may just be speaking for myself, but I would say the more detail, the better. As someone who does character illustration, I would really prefer you tell me everything you want in your character design plus any/every reference image you have. The alternative is finishing the commission and getting a novel back in response with all the things I missed or you missed. Give me details and I'll get it right the first time. If you didn't give me details on something, I'm going to assume you want me to use my own artistic opinion -- that's what you're hiring me for, after all!

4. STOP TWEAKING. When I get a back-and-forth of 10+ emails "tweaking" things after the piece has been completed -- "Make the cowl more green" "Make my hair more pointy" "Change the background to something completely different" -- I really start hating on my client. I know, I know, I shouldn't hate my clients. But there's nothing like spending as much time tweaking a finished product as I spent creating it in the first place. If you're so bent on not letting me do my artistic thing, then why don't you draw your own go**da*n picture? There, I said it: Draw your own g**da*n picture. If you can't relax and let your illustrator do things in their own artistic style (see #1), then you didn't hire the right illustrator and/or you should try drawing it yourself and see how far you get.

5. Do not photoshop the illustrator's signature/name off the image, don't reproduce without the illustrator's permission, don't alter the image unless you have written permission, don't resell the artwork unless it was in your contract. Etc, etc, etc. -- Duh. Just duh.

Short meta-feature: 5 Meta-Anime

2009-11-24T15:32:00.004-06:00

It would take me days and days to write proper meta-reviews of these shows, or of meta in anime, so instead... I'm doing a brief, 5-anime feature about the first five meta-anime off the top of my head. Perhaps much, much more at a later date!¹

1. Dragon Half
Genre: Comedy
Director: Shinya Sadamitsu
Episodes: 2

This two-episode OVA was one of the first meta shows in anime history, particularly memorable due to having been licensed and released in the US since 1993 (the VHS era). Despite being less than an hour long altogether, this one is a fantasy-comedy about a half-dragon girl trying to win the love of her favorite pop-idol. There are scene-by-scene of references to not only Dragon-Half itself, but fantasy tropes in general, including senseless violence, ridiculous fan-service, and Dug Fin, whose scenes were all deleted.

Dug Fin doesn't care about story continuity

2. Perfect Blue
Genre: Drama/Suspense/Horror
Director: Satoshi Kon
Running length: 80 min.

Thought I'd drop something super dark and definitely not a comedy in here, so let's go with Perfect Blue, a full-length feature animated film from 1997 by Satoshi Kon. Perfect Blue relies heavily on voyeurism and sadism, themes commonly taken on in cinema analysis. Perfect Blue follows the tale of a young pop-artist -- or you could say it follows the tale of the deranged and obsessed stalker who is in love with her image from her constant media presence. The movie bears a strong resemblance to the metacinematic thrillers of Hitchcock and Lynch: Dark, unsettling, and pushing ideas of the objectification of women in film. Enjoy, but not with children in the room: This one is for adults only.

3. Excel Saga
Genre: Comedy
Director: Shinichi Watanabe
Episodes: 26

If you started watching anime within the past five years, you'll inevitably have come across Excel Saga, a loud and schizophrenic show about taking over the world. Every episode is a take on a different genre of anime, ranging from highschool drama to sports to sci-fi to jungle guerilla warfare. This show is nothing but meta -- the plot is marginal, and even when it does get "good" it's only a play on the genre of serious tragedy anime. The jokes get more pointed than in earlier works like Dragon Half; the imagery borders on plagiarism humor in certain parts, most noteably in the form of Nabeshin, an afro-sporting secret agent man, but also in the nostalgic visages and scenes that take on Cowboy Bebop, Captain Harlock, moe, the manga industry, and many more.

俺は。。。ナベシン。

Note: A really NICE thing about the American release is that the producers wanted to make sure everyone was catching all the jokes; there is a track on the DVDs that allows pop-ups of informational tags pointing out every single reference.

4. Slayers
Genre: Comedy/Fantasy Adventure
Director: Takashi Watanabe
Episodes: 104 + 7 movies & OVAs

An old favorite of mine. Slayers hails from the late 1990's and is a tongue-in-cheek comedy adventure jabbing fondly at the fantasy genre's most sensitive region: Dungeons & Dragons. Every character got a couple high rolls... and terribly low rolls in other areas. The best thing is that after three seasons and a handful of OVAs, Slayers took a break -- only to return in 2008 with a full 26-episode season (divided into two mini-seasons) that only serves to completely make fun of itself. If you can get through the first season and corny-as-hell jokes, you'll enjoy the whole thing.

5. Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei
Genre: Comedy/Highschool/Satire
Director: Akiyuki Shinbo
Episodes: 38 + 5 OVA

Sayonara Zetsubou Sensei is the cream of the crop when it comes to meta-anime. This one was first released in Japan in 2007 in manga form and has since been made into several animated series. SZS covers genre, copious commentary on anime and other traditional Japanese storytelling methods, the modern anime perspective, and popular media as a whole. There's nothing non-meta about this show, from the moe/stereotypical characters to the allegorical storytelling method. The animation style changes from time to time, seiyuu switching in and out, and plenty of background activity to keep you busy for at least four watches per episode. I highly recommend.

I'd tell you more about it, but as meta should, it speaks for itself:

^{1 Anyway, who really decides to watch a show because of what someone on a blog says about it? I'm just letting you know they're out there; you go watch it if you want! And I'll analyze it later. And ruin it for you.}

Friday 5: November 20, 2009

2009-11-20T23:56:00.001-06:00

It's poetry, because I forgot today and I only have five minutes :(

Random words:

IN TUITION

Thirty wasted years
misspent on classical music
the wrong approach
His vigor swam in the veins
of hematology

Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009 - 4th Place Runner Up!

2009-11-15T18:03:00.001-06:00

Before moving on with the judging results and winners, I wanted to take a moment to thank EVERYONE who participated in the contest. We had a really good turnout and I was really impressed with the energy and interpretation of every single entry. In order to thank everyone for making the 1st Joeyverse Costume Contest a big success, I would like to extend an offer of a totally awesome sketch commission to everyone who entered. Please email me or comment to claim this prize.

AND! I'd like to present a second super special prize to everyone, offered by Claire/Spotless Photography: a free costume photoshoot for anyone who entered the contest.¹

Okay! Moving on! This year's contest had some pretty freaking sweet submissions, and though we did pick 1st, 2nd and 3rd place winners, I still had to do a 4th place runner up. I'm going to start with the introduction to the judges and how the photos were judged!

JUDGING

All costumes were judged taking the following three points in mind:

How well the costume reflected the original design character
How well the costumer reflected the personality of the character
How well the photos portrayed points 1 and 2

Keeping this in mind, I'll briefly introduce the other two judges! Claire has been my biggest fan for the last five and a half years. She's also a totally sweet photographer who specializes in costume photography. Claire likes fucked up stories and crazy bitches like Sal and Olivia. Cassandra, judge #3, is a super-duper cosplayer with a fixation on bias tape and melons. She's well-versed in the Joeyverse and is also a huge wig nerd. Together, they are... Claire and Cassandra, the two informed persons who helped me judge this contest! And they fight crime.

Right! I know what you're really here for, so without any further ado, I present to you the 1st annual (fanfare)...

JOEYVERSE COSTUME CONTEST 2009
Judging results!

and we'll start with the

4th Place Runner Up!

KcD as Kaet
Final Waltz
VIEW ALL PHOTOS

I was really surprised to get this submission and I'm 100% glad I did! This photoshoot had great photos and a great location, and the outfit is exactly as it should be. We also thought you had a great understanding and portrayal of the character (which is why I particularly like this photo -- ha! Kaet scowl!). All in all, a flawless entry that shows how well you can do without any sewing so long as you pay attention to detail, understand who you're in costume as, and get creative with the photos.

So, really big round of applause to Kaycie! Next winners post follows!

^{1 To claim this prize you must have entered the contest. Also, you have to be local, unless you want to pay to fly Claire and her camera to you. Photoshoot ONLY valid for costume(s) you entered for the 2009 contest. Please contact Claire at claire (a) spotlessphotography.com}

Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009 - 2nd & 3rd Place Winners

2009-11-15T18:00:00.000-06:00

Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009 Awards

3rd Place Winner

Alyssia Rayl as Jeszryn
Final Waltz
SEE ALL PHOTOS

Phew! What an undertaking. I was not expecting anyone to tackle a sewing project like Jeszryn Deed's full regal gown as depicted by Claire in the digital rendering Beneath the Crystal Waves, one of the only images considered canon for the contest. The gown involves a full train, a lined bodice and a boatload of red hair. Alyssia wasn't shy tackling this ambitious project and she ended up with a really great look that is instantly recognizable. Not only did she put a lot of work into the handmade parts of the costume, but she did a really great job improvising with the non-sewn parts: The boots, jewelry and handling of the wrist and handpieces were selected with a good deal of care and attention to detail. Great presentation of the character and excellent job showing off your knowledge of who you're portraying (and, I liked the pics with Sallas the cat. Definitely a cute bonus!).

Alyssia is the deserving recipient of the 3rd Place prize: A full black and white commission from yours truly, on top of the sketch participant's prize. Great job and congratulations!

Now we'll move on to... da da DA!

2nd Place Winner

Molly O as Billy Rune
Derelict Heaven
SEE ALL PHOTOS

Molly had a perfect wardrobe and sewed cute ears and a big ol' tail for this costume, fluffed up her hair and, oh yeah, painted herself. Check out the full gallery -- from this photo (although it's my favorite of the set) you can't tell her hands, arms and feet (and... other parts??) are dusted orange and spotted for a full Jakkali look and an amazing portrayal of everyone's favorite cheetah. Again, I really didn't think anyone was going to really go for a more intense and difficult-to-pull-off costume like this when there's a human-form-Billy at the end of the book... Well anyway! We were all really impressed and this was (obviously) one of our favorites! So, here you go -- 2nd place! Email me! Let's DO this PRIZE thing!

1st place announcement forthcoming! Stay tuned!

Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009 1st Place

2009-11-15T17:30:00.000-06:00

Well, it's time. It's time to announce the 1st place winner of the year-long contest that has been the Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009. There were 12 entries this year (that's like... one a month!), which is way more than I expected, to be honestly honest with you. I was kind of expecting... two. Or maybe three. And that the most I would have to do to judge is rank three entries 1 through 3 and call it a day. But then it turns out that I have to actually pick winners, and I have to actually have Claire and Cassandra help me.

But, well, even then there was a problem and we really couldn't just pick one.

So... we picked two.

Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009
1st Place Winners

Kathryn and Megan as
Lizzy Siren and Noctorious Drake
Derelict Heaven
ALL LIZZY PHOTOS ALL NOCT PHOTOS

It was just a big impasse, really. These two costumes and photoshoots are completely different and completely went above and beyond the scope of the contest and I couldn't choose so I just said to hell with it, they're both winning. I'm going over them in alphabetical order, because I don't think it's really fair to lump them both into the same paragraph when I talk about why we chose these two as the winners.

Kay's interpretation of Lizzy Siren is brooding and dark, accurate in mood and feeling and color. I was so floored by the fact that all of the photos were taken a) by her own self and b) in her own house. The range of photos was impressive and I can just tell from all of them that Kathryn gets the character and that she had a distinct idea of what she was trying to get across when she took the photos. One of my favorite photos was actually not in the gallery, but on Facebook. I know the photo wasn't included in the costume gallery because you can hardly see the costume or Kathryn at all, but it really made me think for a second I was looking at a still from the Derelict Heaven movie. Your raw portrayal of Lizzy is completely solid, through and through. Congratulations seems an understatement.

Megan's Noctorious isn't really a photoshoot, but a lifestyle... Megan is, after all, the official living mascot for our most beloved flamboyant punk/goth EGL cardshark albino gypsy. It's really hard for me to imagine anyone embodying any of the Joeyverse denizens in a more accurate and effortless way. However, despite having everything she needed to do a getaway everyday Noct costume, Megan decided to go with a really obscure sketch I did of Noct as the White Rabbit from my upcoming joint collaboration, Alice in Winter Wonderland. This took me off-guard because I had actually forgotten I had put those sketches up, and then suddenly here's Noct being all steampunky with a ridiculous scarf and delightful socks. Attention to detail, again -- yes, that is a pink plaid vest peeking out of the jacket. Yes, that is exactly what kind of vest Noct would pick for this outfit. It was actually hard to judge this outfit along with the others because it seemed less like Megan-as-Noct and more like Noct-as-the White Rabbit. Regardless, you did an amazing job and captured it on film in exactly the way Noct would have liked, V-ictory bunny-ear-fingers and all!

SO! That is that! As for prizes, I guess you'll have to fight over them! Just kidding. I think it might be fair to offer both the 1st prize winners half of the accumulated jackpot money (That's $30 each! Not bad!) as well as a full colored commission. As well as the sketches, those are yours too.

***

Thus that concludes the 2009 Joeyverse Costume Contest! I want to give a huge thanks, once again, to EVERYONE who participated and made this a jawsome event that, well, makes me want to throw a contest like this every year!

Remember to comment or email me with your prize request/info -- I will probably forget if you don't. And don't forget about Claire's pretty sweet offer about the photos. Both of these things are a pretty good deal. And also fun.

Also, if you have a minute, I would appreciate any comments and feedback about this contest! I.e. things that would have made it better, easier, more fun, or anything like that. I am planning on making this an annual event, and I would like to learn from this year to find out how to make it even better for next year. I'd love comments from people who participated as well as people who didn't -- actually, people who didn't? I'd really like to hear from you so I know how to properly wrangle you into participating next year... Feel free to comment here, or shoot me an email with your thoughts.

THANKS AGAIN, EVERYONE and CONGRATS TO THE WINNERS!

Semantics

2009-11-14T12:16:00.001-06:00

It's difficult, sometimes, to have spent five years and a lot of money studying something you can't even discuss with most people you meet. When people ask me what I studied in school, I usually say something like "Linguistics, but also cinema and Shakespeare" so that their next response is something more along the lines of "Oh! Movies! I like movies" or "Oh, Shakespeare! I've read Shakespeare" and less along the lines of "Linguistics, eh? How many languages do you speak?" Which is always the question that irks me, because we don't learn languages in linguistics, we learn about languages, and... and... the answer is two, dammit. Two.¹

Anyway, to my point. In Linguistics, we study language and communication. We take classes like pragmatics and phonology. And no, pragmatics is not about politics or law, and no, it's phonology not phrenology and I have never analyzed a skull in my life. Now, while pragmatics and phonology are both really interesting topics², if I whip them out in conversation (yeah, I said it: I "whip out" linguistics facts), no one ever has any idea what the hell I'm talking about. It just makes me feel goofy. Yet I have to protect these words -- my beautiful, important words that make up language. Protect and mutilate. It's a love-hate relationship. But... Some things you just don't touch.

Take into consideration the word semantics. People don't seem to realize that semantics is a study, rather than a part of a popular figure of speech. I hear it all the time (used incorrectly) and the whole thing is so ironic I want to slap myself in the face. Example: Exchange I had with a coworker the other day. I was mentioning a vendor's post-facto complaint about an invoice, and my coworker said: "That reminds me of a word I like: Semantics."

I, in my constant quest to justify my B.A., immediately responded, "The invoice situation has nothing to do with semantics."

"Yes it does, he is arguing about something irrelevant."

"But, but..." And I tried to think about how to not sound goofy, "But semantics is about the relationship between meanings and words. It has nothing to do with whether it's irrelevant or not."

"No, I mean like when people argue semantics, you know. Like, argue about things that don't matter."

"That's not what semantics is. We're arguing about semantics right now, see, but the other thing--"

"Right, we're arguing about something that doesn't matter."

Ah! "No, we're arguing about the meaning of the word 'semantics!'"

"Right, and it's irrelevant!"

Then I exploded. After jumping out of the window. Well, that's what I did in the brief fantasy I constructed in order to avoid doing it in reality. Semantics isn't... it's... it... Let's just drop it and never bring it up again.

Moral of the story, in the anticlimactic genre: If you say something and you mean something different, don't argue that it's semantics. Technically, if you want to make an argument, you should be arguing pragmatics.

But that's all semantics.

Until then, look it up on the internet!

^{1. Well, one and a half.}
^{2. Really. I'm not just saying that while simultaneously stuffing down the tiny, tiny voice yelling about the money and time I spent in school versus the amount of good it has done for me in my real life. Really.}

Friday 5: November 13, 2009

2009-11-13T11:19:00.000-06:00

Random words:

DELIVERY

Oh, it was almost the day.

She had been waiting nine months. Well, not just she. They. The two of them together -- that was what starting a family was about, after all. They had nested and painted the room in the new house, had showers thrown for them and gone through gift receipts for the bibs in blue. They had seen the vicar and made all the arrangements that would follow in the weeks after, and they had gone to the training classes and babysat and done participatory breathing exercises. They had done it together, holding hands, she breathing in and out as if it were the final, happy day and him watching her flushed cheeks and puckered mouth and thinking about the hour it would happen, oh, that their baby would be introduced to the world.

They had picked out names. The list was taped to the back of the front door, so they saw it every time they left the house so they could think about it as they went about their daily life, which was soon to be their old life. Charlotte, Anabelle, Henrietta -- Bill liked names with double consonants and Sara liked ones with a ring of antiquity. They should about Charlotte during grocery shopping, Anabelle during oil changes, and Henrietta on the long car ride to work.

When it was finally the day -- a Saturday -- the two sat in the living room with their hands in their lap, watching the clock. It seemed deafeningly silent and blindingly still (and anosmically unaromatic). The only sound was the thundering of the second hand... and then suddenly the melodic explosion of the doorbell.

Bill and Sara jumped up, both restraining the adrenaline urge to bolt to the door. Sara stood back as Bill opened it, his hand shaking. Outside was the mailman with a clipboard, a dolly full of boxes wrapped in brown paper string behind him. He looked up, pale blue eyes squinting pleasantly over a grey, deck-brush mustache.

"Bill and Sara Mullencart?"

"I'm Bill," Bill said, his voice dry. Behind him, Sara was practicing her breathing exercises. He heard the gentle puffing her her breath as he took the clipboard and signed. The mailman turned, the afternoon sun lighting across the blue back of his uniform.

"All righty, well, here you are then," he said. "Sign here, please. Surtax charges on these shipments. Cash or credit? Very well, thank you sir, and congratulations."

The mailman left and Bill brought in the stack of boxes. Sara watched, her hands clenched, huffing and puffing and flushing. Bill's eyes were alight with joy. He took a look at the packing order and removed the first box, tearing it open. Once it was open, he gripped the bottom of the box and turned it upside down, tossing its contents at Sara's pelvis. A mucous membrane flung itself out, crashing against her crotch and soaking her in Comet-smelling amniotic fluid.

"OH MY GOD, OH MY GOD!" Sara screamed, her hands twitching in small, excited circles near her face as if she were frantically wiping steam from a window she had been puffing on. "OH MY GOD!"

"Honey! Honey, it's time!"

"I need to lay down," and she did. Bill went for the next package while she lowered herself carefully onto the couch. Inside the second package was a gear-filled mechanism. He brought it over and Sara groaned. He assembled the machine and set it down, letting it crank automatically. Sara grimaced.

"Ow ow ow," she said.

"Too much?"

"No, it's okay. It just -- ow -- it hurts. Ow. Can I have a sucker?"

Bill got her a Tootsie-pop and handed it to her. She twisted and contorted on the couch, holding it and making little uncomfortable noises. Bill rubbed her knee a little and then went to go through the rest of the shipment. The contraction machine cranked away, its gyrations getting faster in a minute, almost unnoticeable kind of way. But Sara noticed. She whined and held on to her wrapped Tootsie-pop.

Bill came back with water and another box, this one taller than he was. He read the instructions briefly.

"Okay, honey, we need to get your pants off."

Sara rocked against her cramping contractions as he got her jeans off, tossing them to the nearby armchair. He propped her ankles up on the couch and arranged the box so the opening side was facing her. All set, he slipped a boxcutter down the front of the box and pulled the cord-threaded tape away. The box doors opened and then suddenly there were three to four strange faces looking at Sara. She didn't really care; the contractions hurt, and the faces murmured to each other and scanned her with their equipment before conversing amongst themselves and then receding back into the box.

"This is going a lot quicker than I expected," Bill said. "You're doing good, Sara-bear! Almost done!"

"IT REALLY HURTS," she announced.

"Just remember your breathing exercises. Just breathe. Remember? Huff puff, breathe."

Sara gripped her Tootsie-pop and breathed with renewed, angry vigor. Bill sensed it was time. He got a smaller, heavier box, this one with a big spout in the side like a giant box of wine. He unscrewed it, using his whole palm to turn the dial. The valve opened and he squeezed. A huge, red, vein-riddled sack of membraned drooped out like a small hunk of burgundy chuck roast. It hung on to the inside of the box long enough to quiver in the air slightly, before dropping heavily and hitting the dark wood panels of the living room floor. Sara gasped a little.

"Save it, save it!"

"What?" Bill wanted to save it, sort of, but just because it was so weird looking.

"Jenny said you can cook it and eat it, it's supposed to be good for you!"

Bill heaved a little in his mouth, but hid it well. He humored her for the moment, picking the placenta up and carefully excusing himself for a moment to set it in the sink. He came back. The contractions were getting quicker and Sara was really breathing now. He went and got the final box and sat on the coffee table next to her. She grabbed his hand and dug her nails in, moaning in pain and excitement. He put the box on her stomach and wrestled her hands on top of it.

"Push, honey," he said.

She pressed her fingers into the crease of the box, prying the tape and string off.

"Ow ow ow!"

"Good girl, good girl," he whispered at her as she finally found the edge of the box lip. She squeezed her eyes shut and screamed. He said, "Push, push!"

She pushed. And pushed. The box top finally came free of the half-ripped tape, snapping open on one corner. She buried her hand on the side of the panel, grabbing the soft, slick cardboard and pulling and pushing, trying to work it free of the tape and rope.

Finally, she wrenched it free and let out a last cry of volition. She took handfuls of packing peanuts and dumped them out so they danced across the living room floor. Bill helped. They both gasped in elated unison.

"Hello, Anabelle," said Bill.

"Anabelle Charlotte," said Sara.

Smiling with a sense of completion, they gazed down at the little red, wrinkled, crying face lying amidst the wrapping and tissue.

Art post: November Calendar 2009

2009-11-09T11:43:00.001-06:00

Pin-up Aroshi the calendar girl.

He's pretty.... Pretty OKAY...

This image was actually a huge pain in the neck. Thank you, Photoshop, for making it look like I put way more work into this than I actually did. I ♥ the maple leaf brush.

The Sacrifice of Performance: The Prestige as Metacinema

2009-11-07T11:54:00.001-06:00

The Prestige (Christopher Nolan, 2006) took the stage in the fall of 2006 with the tag-line “Are you watching closely?” With a premise centering around an inexplicable magic trick and rivalry between two – no, three – magicians, The Prestige's tag-line question begs the ultimate question of any movie of intrigue. The viewer follows the story of two struggling magicians, Angiers (Hugh Jackman) and Borden (Christian Bale) as they compete to achieve the ultimate magic trick: The Transported Man. Their heated rivalry is barely held in check by their once mutual stage engineer, Cutter (Michael Caine). Finally, while Borden perfects the Transported Man trick by using a twist-ending secret twin brother, Angiers accomplishes it through the miracle of science, cloning himself and then murdering his clone as the sacrifice for the trick.

This particular analysis will specifically look at what Christopher Nolan, through The Prestige, has to say about the sacrifice of performance – especially in its constant relation of performance to death. This relation is poignantly stated early on, when Angiers' wife dies in a water tank while performing on stage. Although this sets the motivation for the rest of the plot, it also sets the thematic mood of the film, posing the questions “What is the cost of performance?” and “How far can one go in performing until it becomes the death of them?” Further, though these questions seem initially directed at the actors – the performers – The Prestige indicates that the danger of performance is not limited to those on stage, but is equally as destructive to those surrounding the performance.

The Prestige presupposes a heavy and opaque curtain between the rows of the audience and the inner workings of the backstage, and implies further that if the real workings of performance were to be brought out into the light, they would no longer be entertaining, or interesting, or even worthwhile. It is the performance people go to see. Cutter, acting as a diagetic narrator throughout the film, points this out when he states, “A pretty assistant is the best form of distraction.” In a film sporting the names of Hugh Jackman, Christian Bale, and Scarlett Johansson, this seems very relevant; filmgoers go to the film to be distracted by pretty faces. The obsession with celebrity life, as evidenced by countless magazines and media devoted to following the lifestyles of the rich and famous, is and may always will be a social fixation. People go to films for the mere sake of viewing a favorite actor or actress, and erect websites devoted to these people they have never met. The fascination with divining the true life of an actor or actress is as mixed up in society as any other form of vicarious voyeurism – What do they eat? Where do they go? What do they do all day long? Certainly, by attending an actor's films, one might learn a little bit more about the real person. But, as Cutter replies dryly, speaking to an ambiguous second person, “You're not really looking... You want to be fooled.”

With this, Nolan indicates that in order to keep up the excitement and keep the box offices full, those on stage must keep up their intrigue and magnetism even offstage. This is exemplified in the film by the character(s) Borden, who, while initially introduced as one man, is in fact two – identical twin brothers, Alfred and Freddie. In order to maintain their Transported Man trick, which relies on the fact that everyone believes there is only one Bordon, they must continue to perform even offstage. This performance rules their lives; they refuse to give up their secret even when it comes between Alfred and his wife, and later drives her to commit suicide. The Borden twins' unstoppable commitment to performance is the sole reason for the remarkable success of their act; a success which they pay for by yielding any opportunity to lead individual lives, or even a shared “real life.” The heavy sacrifice of keeping this secret and sustaining their performance is still not enough for them to concede it; as Angiers outlines succinctly, “He lives his act.” To provide a view as to just how distasteful this concept is portrayed as in the film, Olivia (Johansson) later describes the Borden's marriage to their act “inhuman.”

While the Borden's sacrifice of living their act results in an inability to lead a private, secret-less life, Angiers makes a separate sacrifice with just as troublesome consequences. In order to perform the Transported Man trick, Angiers takes a mystical journey to America and spends vast amounts of money on a machine that clones him. The downside, of course, is that every time the machine operates, one of the clones must be killed in order to preserve the secret of the performance. While Borden lives his act, Angiers dies for it, killing himself over and over for the sake of a technologically enhanced performance.

What do both of these sacrifices have say about the sacrifice of performance? Nolan's message is that true performance requires the full sacrifice of identity and will inevitably lead to death. It bluntly predicts that any performer who wishes to succeed on stage (or on the set) must either forfeit any chance he has at leading a normal life, or he must sell his proverbial soul to the devil of technologically assisted performing. These two alternatives seemed governed by the two performing qualities that the Bordens and Angiers embody; the Bordens represents raw skill, while Angiers has a flare and finesse for showmanship. While the Bordens' presentation may fall flat, their ability to perform their trick – on the stage and off – is a brute advantage which they wields with precision and confidence. It is the Bordens who take the sacrifice of self, burying their own identities in order to maintain a constant performance which leads to their great success. On the other hand, Angiers lacks skill but is monetarily endowed and charismatic when it comes to presentation; his shows may not be unique, but they are beautiful and enthralling to watch. He leads himself down the path of technological enhancement, using his money and ambition to produce an unparalleled level of “magic” despite relying on a technological crutch.

In the first case, the claim is that the personal lives (if they exist) of actors and actresses will never be truly personal; under the constant scrutiny of the press, other media, and fans, any part of their true, underlying nature is merely the boring revealing of a magic trick – which, as Cutter reminds us, “impresses no one.” Although spectators may allegedly want to know the real inside scoop on the lives of the people they see on the silver screen, even these so-called lives are fabricated for the perpetuation of the media infatuation.

As for the second case, Nolan poses a somewhat grim prophecy in a cinematic world full of blue screens, computer graphics, and other digital effects that would have been considered “real magic” many years ago. Implementing these seemingly miraculous tools in order to accomplish cinematic feats never before possible may be a great advantage to contemporary film makers, allowing them to create sets, props, effects, and even people completely through digital rendering. Thanks to digital cinema, viewers can enjoy a film that is smooth and seamless, tweaked until it is perfect. However, for Angiers, the price for this is high – he dies every time he performs the trick, losing his own personal identity bit by bit, until all that is left of him are rows of corpses floating in septic tanks beneath a burning theater. Is this what is at stake for those in the film business who augment their works with modern technology? Dozens of dead actors wasting away in the basement of a crumbling cinema? In a way, directors who take advantage of cinematic technology have the opportunity to play God, brandishing a power that can go so far even as to clone an entire actor. Is this selling out? Will technology prove the death of the actor, as well as the filmmakers who use it? The Prestige suggests it may.

However, despite the personal sacrifice of the performer in order to provide a convincing performance, Nolan indicates that the real danger is not necessarily the damage done to a particular performer. Performing, no matter the cost – be it life or death – is not the threat that we should be worried about. Both the Bordens and Angiers must keep their secrets, yes, but when one performer steps off the stage forever, there will always be another to replace him. The true danger is, in fact, the death of the thing both Angiers and the Bordens are sacrificing their lives to protect – and that thing is performance itself. They commit their lives to the stage; they place it above all else, and it is in order to support this institution that they give up their lives. For, as rhythmically echoed throughout the film, once you give up the secret to your magic trick, “you're useless to them.” In order to achieve the magic that is the cinema, the participation of all performers is required – the curtain may come up between the lit stage and the darkened audience, but the curtain between the lit stage and the darkened backstage must never be drawn, lest the theater become useless to the people it exists for. Should these sacrifices made by performers – evidence of their mortality, and the blueprints for their magic tricks – become well known, the thrill of intrigue is instantly lost. Going to a film in order to pick it apart, ciphering each and every shot, and trying to unravel its secrets removes the fantastical haze and deposits us back in the real world, the place we visit cinema to escape. Just as Borden and Angiers do not enjoy the magic show they attend when trying to figure out Chung Ling Soo's fishbowl trick, viewers who are focused on figuring out the mysteries of film miss the real magic; they miss the entertainment that is the pure pleasure of not understanding – the enjoyment of being fooled.

What would happen if all the secrets of the stage were to be offered up? Even though special interviews, press releases, and the internet allow us to understand exactly how certain visual effects were achieved, knowing these things detract from the mystification felt when simply experiencing these things as if they were, in fact, real. The cinema is for escapism, for voyeurism, and for the dislocation of self. Investing one's self in a film involves the acceptance of what one sees and hears in the theater as real; admitting that it is not, and going so far as to pick apart the method used to create such an effect dissolves the fantasy. Dissolution of the fantasy is the destruction of the entertainment, and that is very tautologically the destruction of the cinema, for what reason do we have to attend films if we are not entertained by them.

The Prestige offers a rather grim, yet honorary, view of the stage and the performers who grace it. It acknowledges the sacrifice taken on a daily, show-by-show, and life-by-life basis – to truly perform is to give up one's self, offering one's own identity and wellbeing to the commitment of a wonderful performance. Though this process may be torture, and it will, if one reads directly from the film itself, inevitably lead to death. Performance is destructive to those who take it up, and destructive to those who are around it; any man who submits himself fully to the stage could, Nolan predicts, die alone in the dark at the end of their show.

However, in acknowledging this sacrifice, The Prestige applauds the efforts of the performer. One of the Bordens is, in fact, rewarded when he gives up his performance, coming home to his daughter. Nolan also takes it upon himself to do what the film swears should never be done, in its final establishing shot of Angier's drowned clones – making painfully and somewhat jarringly obvious how a trick had been done. I don't believe this is a flaw in the film; Nolan has kept his secrets faithfully and subtly until then. This glaringly expositional shot reveals the secret, showing just how flat and sour such an unveiling can be. The film would have remained something of a mystery without it; we all assumed that Angiers was killing his clones, one by one, but without that show we couldn't be sure. But we are unable to escape it, and his trick is ruined for us, leaving us to wish we had been kept in the dark forever. For, as Angier's final lines softly state, “The audience knows the truth: The world is simple, solid all the way through.” And so it is with the end of The Prestige; we must cope with what we desired but did not truly want to grasp – the distasteful bitterness of the truth revealed.

Friday 5: November 6, 2009

2009-11-06T18:48:00.000-06:00

Random Words:

It was with great care and confidence that Miss Anne-Marie Fitzgerald presented herself as the most thoroughbred of her kind: Elegant in poise, regal in stature, charming in nature, and of course, most thoughtful in political conversation. As it were, her fingers were most solid under her gloves, her ankles most stable beneath petticoats and ankle-boots, yes -- she drew the eye with her modest realism in the midst of all the ritzy, cheap glamour that surrounded her on a daily basis.

Particularly, she drew the eye of one Mr. Jonathon Wordsworth, who thought less of her as a heirloom and more of a woman -- a human being -- a real mind! -- and one day over a spread of scones and other delights, he said, his breath whispering gently across a tittle of sugar before he dropped it in her tea, "Miss Anne-Marie, would you come away with me and be my wife?"

This was the beginning of it all. Their marriage was the greatest financial investment either sets of parents had made in a long while since the mortage on their fine estates. Thus, Anne-Marie and Jonathon were married in the glade between their two houses and it was with honest bravura that she, his new wife, flung her bouquet of lillies and roses to the sky as if it were to be taken away by the doves that erupted from her laughter.

They bred horses together -- Arabs with sleek coats and gentle dispositions. In the evening they rode together and recalled that there had never been a moment in their lives together where there had been an uncomfortable pause, a moment of conflict, a cause for concern. He became a lawyer, fighting for good, and she a teacher, doing the same. They had children who grew up strong and smart-witted, accepted away to Universities that were their parents' greatest investment since the purchase of their beautiful estate.

They died within days of one another, peacefully in their sleep, she with soft grey hair and a smile on her lips, and he with a rose and a lilly pressed delicately between his old man's hand and his breast.

No one was sad at their funeral, for Anne-Marie and Jonathan had had a happy life without tragedy. Their children paid their respect but spoke amongst themselves that their parents had led a good, full life. There was no gossip, for they held only friends of the highest integrity and pedigree. No one murmured a secret confession of love or hate. Not a single tear was shed, not one person's heart moved, and not a memory of this story stayed in the mind of anyone who read it, passing like a shadow on a fall day.

J.M.Lee on internet dictionaries...

2009-11-04T16:47:00.001-06:00

This is just a note to anyone who might see this on the internet...

I wanted to clear up the myth that I added myself to Wikipedia: I didn't. Someone else did, and then I think someone else tried to edit the entry to make it more accurate. And now it's all over the internet. Bah! The trials and tribulations of having overzealous fans... In any case, if anyone who reads this could do me a favor and delete any entries you find about me on Wiki (or other similar internet/community dictionary/encyclopedias¹), I would really appreciate it.

:(

Joey

^{1. Encyclopediae? Encyclopedie? Maybe I should check one for the plural spelling...}

Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009

2009-11-03T17:01:00.000-06:00

JOEYVERSE COSTUME CONTEST

The Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009 has a whole set of costumes to check out! Just click the link above and take a look -- maybe even make some comments!

I have a couple more entries coming late, as people have had problems due to inclimate weather, technical failures, etc. I hope to have judging start by Monday. We've also introduced our 3rd guest judge, Cassandra (aka RyuuRaigeki), who will be judging with me and Claire! Cassandra is an award winning costumer who has been featured on Cosplay.com. Sporting a distinct affinity for bias tape-ridden designs, she enjoys constructing costumes from series like Beatmania IIDX, Neon Genesis Evangelion, Xenosaga, and various works from CLAMP and the Tales franchise. Cassandra's favorite Joeyverse novel is Derelict Heaven, and her favorite character is Aroshi.

More updates as they come. Thanks to EVERYONE who has participated!

Friday 5: October 30, 2009

2009-10-30T22:17:00.000-05:00

This is going to be short because I am tired and exhausted from my day job. Not nice news.

Random Words:

There was a stairway to Heaven and it was pearly and white, and everyone knew about it and everyone knew that once you got in (if your application was good) there were all sorts of activities to be had, such as reading, watching TV series spin-offs, drinking G&Ts, and of course the ice-skating rink. Heaven was the Ivy League of Destinations. But without a good transcript, a form rejection letter eventually came along in the mail, and you would be forced to go with your second, or third choice.

There was no stairway to Hell, really, just a ramp... Made of concrete, nothing terrible, hard on one side, lit by a series of flourescent lamps that vibrate and buzz tonelessly and give you that tiny bit of nausea that you can't quite place. The paint on the cold hand-rail has been chipped by the number of cold, defeated hands that had gripped it, heads hanging, thinking "Well, now that I'm here, I might as well make the best of it."

Then there's the waiting room with the abstract paintings artfully strung about, at varying heights so anyone can see at eye-level. This one's an apple, this one's a serpent, this one's an autographed photo of Elizabeth Hurley from Bedazzled wearing nothing but a red, sequined bikini-top. There's a counter at the front, you get a clip-board with the walk-in application. You sit in an uncomfortable chair and wish you had gotten in somewhere else, so your mother, your father, your uncle, your grandparents -- so someone would be proud. So you could say you did. You sit there and fill out hardly enough information to judge whether you should be admitted -- no references, no essay, no statement of interest. You sit there and fill out the application with only the most basic of information, then you place the pen under the clip, bounce your knee and wait.

And wait.

And wait.

Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009

2009-10-29T18:21:00.000-05:00

JOEYVERSE COSTUME CONTEST

The Joeyverse Costume Contest 2009, deadline November 2nd, now has two entrants and some more WIP photos which I may or may not post to a WIP gallery! Go check them out and tell the costumers what a great job they've done!

If you're interested in joining in the contest, the details are outlined at the Facebook Event as well as over at DeviantART (where a good deal of source images are!) Deadline is coming up, so if you're going to play, now's the time!

Hermann Hesse: Demian

2009-10-26T15:37:00.000-05:00

"One never reaches home," she said. "But where paths that have affinity for each other intersect the whole world looks like home, for a time."

--Frau Eva. Hermann Hesse. Demian.

I just finished Hermann Hesse's Demian for the first time... Long overdue, I know. But, as is appropriate for this book, I think it came at the perfect time, just when I needed it the most. I actually started reading it in February when Claire and I went on our post-retail-Christmas-season vacation to Florida. I was fairly enraptured and ready the first couple chapters, but once I returned home I was immersed again in dull life and didn't pick it up again until this Sunday. I had it under my external hard drive to muffle the hum and I looked at it every day, but I finally picked it up, went to Cafe Amore with Claire, and chowed down a good 90 pages.

I finished the rest of it today on my lunch break at work. I can say that it's rare a book makes me cry in public, but the closing pages got me there. I think part of it had to do with my sudden uneasiness of the latter portion of the book, where Sinclair is so enraptured and content that I suddenly wondered if Hesse was going to end the novel there. It seemed so contrary to the entire point he was trying to make -- until that point there was never a lull in Sinclair's confused, blundering attempts to reach the ideal he wanted of and for himself, and suddenly he was hung in an Edenic purgatory, and I was concerned.

Then the closing pages culminated perfectly everything I felt about what was happening, both in the book, for the author, for the reader, and for myself. It was so perfect and haunting and peaceful that I read that final sentence and almost decided to give up writing, because I don't feel I'll ever achieve that level of bittersweet perfection.

But that puts me in the same state of disarray and discontent that forces us to move forward; it is that doubt that makes us challenge our own determination. If we don't embrace our desires fully for what they are -- if we so much as whisper in doubt "it's impossible" -- then it will be so and we will crash to the ground with the weight of our own fears.

Friday 5: October 23, 2009

2009-10-23T10:31:00.000-05:00

It's my goal (and don't quote me on this) to write a 500 word short using five random words. For today's, I used four random words plus the word LOUD for the 5x5 fall theme. I don't know if I like this, but I'm posting it anyway.¹ Enjoy (?).

---

Words: LOUD, GENERAL, SHEER, REQUEST, DISCUSSION

She caught him around the collar of the shirt and dragged him to the old bed, the springs squeaking with rust and her $10 sex-shop outfit complaining like plastic in a paper-shredder. Suddenly his pants were gone and he shielded his face as she plunged her fingers into to his hair, finding handles in his head and then it was happening – or was it, what was happening? – all he could hear was a deafening wail like a cat with its tail stuck in a door.

“Oh God, what is that noise?”

She punched him in the neck. “No talking!” Her voice was raspy now as if she had been screaming. He coughed and adjusted his glasses. The noise came back and he located the source – her big, red, o-shaped mouth. She was wheezing and screaming like a squeaky toy in the jaws of a lazy Saint Bernard.

They called her the General. General was such a general word in and of itself. As he followed her down the groaning, moaning wood platform towards her room at the end of the hall, his first thought was a general store. He pictured her room ribbed with shelves stock full of useful pantry items: Paper towels, baking powder, olive oil, ziplock bags. Dusty and oily things that would catch in the sheer drapery of the General’s loose-fitting shawl like spit in pantyhose.

There had been a queue of girls waiting in the hall, lined up the stairs like newel posts strung together with hair and scarves and long, black cigarette holders. Standing next to each other like that, watching him with those eyes, they had reminded him of kids with their wrists tied together on a field trip to the zoo. Or at least, that’s what they used to do – tie the kids together at the wrist or the belt and then pull them between the zebras and the elephants like a train on a string. These days, of course, kids got handles to hold, though the kids that wouldn’t be quiet and grab on got to stay home and scream.

The General said nothing as she opened the door. Inside was a bed, and little else – no shelves of baker’s sugar or nets full of bawling children.

“Just one thing,” she said finally, turning about and dropping her big, sexy poncho down to her booted, buckled ankles. Her vinyl creaked and whined, shinier and cheaper than leather and five times as loud. “No talking. No discussion. You’re not rich – we both know it, so handle that much now, can’t you, Stud?”

He nodded. “Sure, that’s—“

She jabbed a finger at him and he flinched like he’d been punched in the solar plexus.

“I said, no talking.”

---

^{1 For posterity.}

Kit Whitfield: Publishing/Dating Strategies

2009-10-21T07:46:00.000-05:00

Lovin' it.

http://www.kitwhitfield.com/publisherdating.html

Music and books and characters

2009-10-19T17:00:00.001-05:00

Considering the soundtrack to Derelict Heaven is comprised completely of oldies covers, I find it a bit interesting that I actually imagine the sound of the covered soundtrack to be a little bit more along the lines of Jet, OK GO, and... the Beatles¹.

And then I started thinking about the characters, and what kind of music they listen to. And then I realized I hadn't blogged in a while. So here's an entry about my various alter-egos and the music they have stuck in the sun-visor of their respective cars/ships/starfighter jets...

Justin: Ok Go, the Strokes, White Stripes, Jet

Aroshi: Coldplay, Elliott Smith, Bush, NIN, Radiohead

Blu: Queen, Styx (so she likes operatic rock... so what), Aerosmith, Rolling Stones

Noct: Jason Mraz, Beck, AFI, Third Eye Blind, Sublime, Sugar Ray

Julian: Vanessa-Mae, Ben Folds (5), Rachael Yamagata, Tori Amos, Aimee Mann

So, hm! Aroshi is apparently a bit emo. I guess we saw that coming. And Julian is kind of a girl. Oh well².

But it's different when I think about who would sing their theme songs. Because I've got these particular artists who have voices that I can hear coming out of their mouths -- singing songs with lyrics that are like lyrics they'd have written. And that list is like this:

Justin: Ben Kweller (particularly "On My Way" and "Wasted & Ready")

Aroshi: Duke Special (particularly "Flesh & Blood Dance" and "Last Night I Nearly Died")

Blu: Chrissy Hines (particularly "Human" and "Back on the Chain Gang")

Noct: Jason Mraz (particularly "Geek in the Pink" and "Life is Wonderful")

Julian: Jude Christodal (particularly "I Will Not Die" and "Red Room")

These don't really match what they listen to... but I hear it. I hear it!

Anyway. I was thinking about this, and how closely related music is to writing, and how important music and soundtracks are to my writing process. I need music to help me keep a consistent mood. I listened to the soundtrack to FFVII on loop while writing the creepy bits of Shadows of Fire. The retro feel of the DH oldies covers gave me the nostalgia to get through the manuscript. Knowing what characters voices sound like in my head, what kind of music they like, and what kind of music they'd sing themselves really helps me get to know them as full, real people.

But I also realize that music isn't important to everyone. I know a lot of people who don't listen to music, aren't interested in it, don't play an instrument, etc. And I wonder where they get their brilliant inspiration and mood and soundtrack from -- Hm! Must be from somewhere, because there are a lot of great authors out there and it's hard to believe every single one of them loves music as much as I do.

Question of the post: What music do your book-buddies listen to? Who sings for them? What's the soundtrack to your story?

¹ Whaaaat?
² Now I'm trying to imagine them all in a van on a road trip arguing about what to listen to... you know, regardless, they will end up listening to what Blu wants to listen to, because the driver gets to pick and there's no way Blu would not drive a car...

Art post: Billy the Runner

2009-10-11T20:14:00.000-05:00

Here's a piece I did this evening of Billy, o' me novel "Derelict Heaven." It be a swashbuckling tale o' pirates and, as ye can see, the occasional catgirl. Arr.

Original lines in pencil, touched up and finished in photoshop. Map overlay by Jeff Nelson over at JEPHEMERA (currently under construction. I know this because... I'm his web designer. We're working on it!).

Germ-ridden Chick-Lit

2009-10-11T14:43:00.000-05:00

For those not in the know, I've been doing writing coaching and mentoring on and off for the last eight or so years. I love it. There's nothing like seeing someone get all bright in the face when you know their characters' names and can analyze the plot of their first manuscript. The only thing that I think would be better would be to be an agent and, instead of saying "Let's talk about Bobby Joe's character development when he runs the tractor through the field of poppies" would be making that call saying "Hey, Random House called..."

Anyway, maybe that is in my future. Maybe it's not. (Maybe I'll be getting that call soon...)

I'm currently on-project for an author who is working on her rough-draft manuscript The Carrier. This one's about half in my genre of expertise (paranormal sci-fi/fantasy) and about half what looks like something that is dead out of my range: Chick-lit. Can't be sure, of course, but maybe I should know?

So, I'm doing my chick-lit research. I read all about it on Wikipedia so far. And I'll consider watching some of the chick-flick movies Claire owns (Should I watch Bridget Jones or Devil Wears Prada first?). But other than that, I'm a duck out of water. While I can't really blame myself, I still feel a little halfblind.

So I pose the question to you all: What is chick-lit to you? What do you like to see? Where's the line between chick-lit/romance/women's lit? We've got a straight female antiheroine on the line here, with two hunky male leads. Don't worry, there's sex. And Aldo boots. And shotguns. And Ebola. Am I on the right track with Sex in the City and Gossip Girl?

I can do research and I can even read a book, but I fear I will never understand chick-lit the way the ladies do. So, ITT: Chick-lit themes, staples and mantras. Go!

J

First post

2009-10-08T21:11:00.000-05:00

I am going to write about writing. It's very meta.

I will probably be copying a lot of stuff from my LJ account to here, for public scrutiny.